This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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People who are outdoorsy: would you date someone who is very indoorsy or is that a dealbreaker?
I believe in energies, and for almost a month I was feeling my ex was having a hard time. I reached out to him to see if he was okay. I learned he has moved on and he’s in a new relationship. He’s good and happy. My intuition was wrong and whatever I felt was in my head. But it doesn’t matter, because it was good to reach out to him and find out everything is going well for him. I was relieved to hear he is good and not going through hard times. I was happy to see he felt comfortable to share with me how he is doing. He’s a great a guy and deserves all the universe’s kindness, goodness and love.
Does anyone else have a weirdly difficult time with places/spaces that you associate with someone? I had a few months relationship break off last week and while overall I’m a lot better this week, I’ve had to a few times this past week being *right* near their place and that voice at the back of my brain speaks up and goes “Hey, she’s right over there. Remember how nice it felt going to her place? Never gonna happen again!”
I’m working on it, but honestly curious if it’s a feeling others get.
EDIT: Love everyone getting vulnerable and sharing!
Her: “So what crazy adventures are you going to do for the rest of the day?”
What I want to say: “Walk around Costco and eat samples. Maybe dick around at a coffee shop with a book tonight if I’m ambitious? If not I’m gonna sit on my couch on Reddit. Then I got another first date but it’s probably not gonna be as good as this one.”
What I say: “You know what I was thinking of checking out this hike? Seems like the weather may hold.”
Her: “Oh I’ve been dying to do that one, ya gotta tell me how it goes!”
Is limerence the cool new word we’re on?
I look forward to feeling the excitement of a new relationship starting. Not necessarily the relationship itself, but starting it. The talking stage, seeing each other, the first kiss. I know I’ll experience it again one day.
On the flipside. I’m starting a new medication for my adrenal gland cancer. Lots of side effects. One of which is affecting my fertility. The doctors provided an option for freezing my sperm. But the money is too much, especially to save it yearly. I’m not even close to the ballpark of starting a family, so I declined. It’s nerve wracking to know the medicine could render me infertile, but it is what it is right now. Only positive thoughts.
I’m flirting with this giant, romantasy-inspo version of a man, and I don’t know exactly how to describe it except it feels a little bit like being one of the first humans to try and domesticate a wolf?
But at the same time, he’s quite personable and funny, very gentle with me, and he speaks French?
Is this Beauty and the Beast, a 2025 re-release?
Should I download dating apps again for the hundredth time? They suck so bad, especially as a man. I have decent pictures, I’m not ugly, and I send interesting messages. They really make me feel poorly about myself. I do try to meet women at meetups as well, but haven’t had too much luck. I’m tired of being alone all the time.
I’m sort of “in my feels” as the kids say and accepting that my interest in someone I see often is unreciprocated, so I’m trying to decide what to do this weekend to distract myself.
I’ve exhausted the apps. Just getting the same profiles over and over then a bunch of random likes from other countries that feel like attempted romance scams. Already in a couple hobby groups. Can’t move and not interested in LDR. Been on a handful of dates but nothing really clicked.
Think it’s been about 3 months since I actually started thinking about dating after spending the years since I escaped my abuser making sure I was in a good place, and I’ve already hit a wall. I just feel kind of pathetic that no one really seems to want me and it feels like it’s just one more part of life my ex stole from me. I don’t get down on myself often, or this morose, but I’m just feeling it a bit today and I’m going to have some ice cream, bake a ton of amazing treats for my kids, and watch a stupid movie.
I think one of my biggest frustrations with dating is that many of the things that make you better at dating have little correlation with what will make you a good long-term partner. So much of dating success comes down to superficial charisma, presenting yourself well, and being good at flirting with and building rapport with near strangers. But none of that means you’ll be a reliable partner, good in bed, a good friend, kind, ethical, or have your shit together. You know, the stuff that actually matters in a LTR.
I am the triple texter. Start it out early so I never feel bad about my weird spurts of energy texts.
No novels for me, but you will get 3 texts in a row. Thank you
I need your help. My boyfriend’s grandpa just had a heart attack. According to his mom, he’s conscious for now but they still don’t know how things will evolve. The whole family is driving back tomorrow. My boyfriend is very close to his grandpa, so this is really hitting him hard.
What can I do to support him? I know phrases like “don’t worry, he’ll be fine” don’t help. I heard that too many times myself when my dad almost died after his stroke.
This afternoon I tried to keep things as our normal routine while showing I care for him. We continued watching our show, I cuddled him a lot, and I stayed quiet to give him space. I also encouraged him to go for a drink with his friends as planned, so he could have a bit of distraction.
Is there anything else I can do for him?
I am pondering engineering an encounter with a new crush I have to test the waters.
It would be fairly low effort, and I have no plans tonight.
I can go to a free event I am interested in that is a 10 minutes away. And try to run into them there (they will 100% be there as a panelist).
I would also meet other people. And I talked to someone earlier today who told me it was gonna be fun and asked if I would be there.
But since they are a panelist, everyone will be trying to talk to them.
I am leaning towards yes. I think they are also intrigued. And maybe I can confirm or deny if they are. I have valid reasons to go to the event unrelated to potentially flirting.
Dating was so much easier when you lived in a dorm and watching Netflix together counted as a date
I went through my whole backlog of hinge likes, and it wasn’t encouraging. I did message everyone who didn’t have major dealbreakers and we’ll see if anything comes of it.
How long do you all wait before you either ask someone out or just unmatch if they’re penpal-ly? I have a few who seem to just want to talk forever, and I get the impression if I ask them out they’re just going to say they want to text longer, but frankly it feels like a waste if we’re never gonna meet.
I am so nervous. I am approaching my 30s and I had a set back with getting laid off and my girlfriend dumped me in September. I am hoping I still have the chops for dating and that I am still desirable 🙁 I have had so many setbacks especially in relationships.
So I was in a dead bedroom relationship for years. That ended a few months ago, and I went on a date with someone I met online a couple of times last week. We’ve been sending flirty messages back and forth and she wants to come over to mine tonight and is alluding to sex pretty hard.
I’m pretty terrified to be honest. The last time I had sex with my ex was probably over 2 years ago, and I am feeling like I don’t even remember how to do it at this point. I’m so nervous I’m going to not be able to perform and be all weird about it. Haven’t felt this pressure since I was losing my virginity.
Should I communicate with them? I’m assuming that is potentially a turnoff.
Any tips?
Anyone else feel like you’ve only got so many early stages of dating/getting to know you discussions left in you? It’s not even that it’s the same or these people are the same, it just doesn’t hit like it used to.
Hey y’all. I’ve been single for about 3-4 years at this point and am slowly realizing that if I want to find something these days, I need to go out there and get it. Before this, I was in a 6 year relationship where my partner basically did the heavy lifting of initiating at the beginning. So its safe to say that I truly don’t have a ton of experience in breaking that initial barrier.
I met someone at a mutual friend’s wedding about two weeks ago and had a great time chatting with her. I thought she was really cute and so I thought, hell, I’d love to shoot my shot. However, I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.
At this point, I’m thinking about what the best way to give her my number would be now! We chatted about where she works (and I’ve been in there several times before since I live down the street, we’ve just never met) and so I considered just braving it and going in there to do it. But I’m also aware that not everyone likes to be approached at work like that.
I also considered asking my friend to pass my number off to her to put it in her ballpark on whether she is interested or not. I think I’m stuck on the more “mature” way to do it now that I’m in my 30s, honestly lol
So quick update on what I shared recently on having anxiety and/or fear around my feelings when my last relationship ended very suddenly. We had a long drive on the way to our show date. I told her the entire story and why I was struggling with my own feelings and what I thought I needed while I continue to work on that. She held my hand throughout and when I finished she told me that how she felt about me wasn’t contingent on reciprocation. As long as I want to continue to see her and spend time with her, she wants that and things will go wherever they go.
I have never been loved like this. If it’s genuine then that is a first for me. I won’t say that my fears are gone, but I’m feeling less anxious that I’m going to get used and tossed aside.
I forget sometimes that other people can send you likes/comments on Hinge. It’s sobering and slightly hurtful when I remember, given my lack of likes/comments
Hi Everyone.
I (33M in LA) am going on my first “blind date” in a few weeks and I am curious what people’s experience were like.
Story leading up to date: I went on a singles board game with a group called 222 and I had a fun time meeting different people. Once the event is over you can do a anonymous questionnaire about the event and the participants. You can also mark whether or not you would potentially meet someone for a date. To my surprise…I got a match to one of the women I marked as interested but I have no clue who liked me back.
We both had to pick a day that worked and finally landed on a time and place without actually speaking to each other. So I am little curious/nervous/excited what is to come but at the same time I don’t want to be completely disappointed.
Anyone have good stories from their experience? Good or bad.
met up with vegan software engineer, mostly because i needed to return library books (RE: leave the house) and he was willing to meet
i was super late. i felt so bad. meeting stayed over even past the time i expected
he kept staring off into the distance which i took as the chance to keep saying ‘i better not keep you’ but he kept protesting. interestingly, i suspect his female equivalent would do well in dating – thin, chill, earnest. beautiful soul – lots of volunteer work with humane society walking dogs, etc, and tutoring kids at library
really gross fingernails. i guess i have never noticed on people but now i’m self-conscious of my own
I work in healthcare and just accepted a Monday – Friday 9-5 type job. I’ve always had a weekday off to get errands done and gave that up when I accepted this job. Obviously I’ve got appointments sometimes, errands, cleaning etc that are going to fall on Saturday. I do like to see my family for a few hours most weekends. I also like to read by myself and sit around the house too.
My last relationship was in my 20s. I’ve dated since then but it was sleepovers and situationships and I don’t want to do that anymore. I guess I’m wondering how adults date? I really would like to go out to dinner on a Friday or Saturday. Idk what else I even have time for. Is this normal?
[quite the read !](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/zUjEW5J0gI)
tw: probably not tw but sex stuff is mentioned, don’t know if it’s okay to just write like this.
Hello,
So I went today for the 3rd date this week (3/10 first date by NY personal challenge).
I was not excited at all to meet this guy since I found his texting somehow strange. I got ready in 30 minutes, went dressed in whatever, with hair not washed for 3 days.
Eventually the guy was very nice, we had a nice time at dinner. But I didn’t feel any romantic attraction towards him. He sent me a message saying he should have kissed me… I should tell him I want to just be friend (which is very true, I can totally see him fitting perfectly in my friends group).
I feel suddenly somehow lonely. I miss in some way the guy I met yesterday, but platonically. Today we exchanged a bit about some mental / physical health struggles.
I really miss having sex. But I cannot do casual thing 🙁 I get too attached. The truth is I miss sex with my ex from 5 years ago and I am almost certain I will never have anything close to this. It makes me sad, even though I know it’s not the most important thing in life. All I need is to be healthy, other stuff is just a nice bonus.
On Tuesday I am going for a date with an interesting guy. I think I might feel attracted to him physically but he gives vibe of someone not serious and he is way too free spirit for me. I wish I could just have something casual with him, but I know I will just get attached.
Btw, do you ask people you sleep with for a test before?
I asked my ex before we had sex, which was already super long time ago (we broke up more than a year ago). Since then I only slept once with this guy who ditched me right after, but didn’t ask him for a test… my friend was also shocked that I would go down on him … she said she does it only once she is in a relationship with a guy.. and when she heard I swallowed, she was even more shocked, she said she would do it only for her husband. That why did I risk. But honestly I don’t see what the point of even having sex then… either all or nothing… is it like a big thing to give a blowjob first time you sleep with a new person, or is swallowing something unusual? I just enjoy doing it
I just realized I can crop pictures for my dating profile!!!
Long story short I’m attractive but camera shy due to my background in photography. It’s engrained in me to be behind the camera lens, not in front of it.
I just cropped some of the few photos I do have of myself though that had some other people in them and finally have pics that show me in my natural element, aren’t bathroom selfies and don’t involve others being unwitting participants in my dating app life. I’m more than just a face and I now clearly have a life and go out and do things!
How important are butterflies / sparks for you on a first date? Any success stories without having those?
I’ve been on a couple of first dates with lovely women this week, both went for over 3 hours. Conversation was easy and we had a good time, both are lined up for second dates.
In my last relationship the first date was full on fireworks and I couldn’t wait to see her again, but I’m not feeling that for either of these recent dates. I’m keen to see them again, but that level of intensity isn’t there.
Is that something to be concerned about?