24F & 28M
I've been seeing this person for about four months, we didn't know each other before. At the 2-month-mark he actually broke up with me for fears of the future, himself, his mental state and general chaos and overthinking, then resurfaced on his own after about two weeks. I've already known about his depression and ADHD before this, so I understood why he acted the way he did. He apologised profusely and said that he wants to give this – us – a real shot. So we continued!
He's so lovely. Caring, and thoughtful. I genuinely enjoyed being with him. He said he did too, that I'm wonderful, and that I add value and warmth to his life. We connected deeply I'd say 🙂
So yeah, I thought we were going in a good direction! Then one afternoon we got to talking about how I'd feel a bit more secure IF I could know where exactly this was headed (I have a slight case of anxious attachment, but it was under control, since I could feel his efforts and there were no mixed messages, etc). But I also ensured him that for now it's enough for me that I feel us growing closer, that we're taking steps ahead, there is no need to really lock down the future. After this, he started growing into a sad mood, which then resulted in another talk in the evening: he's not sure if he can give me what I want. That although we're good together, and understand each other, he thinks it's best if we stop, to avoid possibly hurting me in the future. He said, that when he's with me, he feels good and thinks we have a good thing going; but when he goes home and thinks about us he believes it is an uneven dynamic, that he's going to overpower me with his ADHD-specific rambles (his words). I told him that I enjoy him rambling about whatever- he said he knows, he sees that I enjoy it, but still, he thinks he will create disharmony between us.
Next morning, he broke up w me. We cried together.
What do y'all think?
(he also only had 2-3 months long dating phases since his toxic LTR ended 5 yrs ago)