I’ve been dating a girl who I fell head over heels for for about 7 months. She went a manageable distance for college, while I’m still a senior in high school (4.5 hours). It has been difficult to see her, since she is a softball player, but I was always super excited to see her coming home for a weekend or would be overjoyed when my parents let me go up there for a weekend, too.
Sometime about 2 or 3 weeks ago, I began to use porn again. Porn was an addiction I had and struggled with vastly, and about 2 months into our relationship, I quit using it. However, I began to use it again for about a weeklong period, and the guilt ate me alive. I told her about it and she graciously forgave me, saying if there was any issue, we could get through it together (something I always said to her).
But ever since then, I’ve felt nervous/anxious every time I thought about her, and not really in a good way; I’ve been feeling guilty, almost like there is an unaddressed problem. Last night, we had the biggest roadblock in our relationship, and we both decided to take a break until both of us felt comfortable to talk again. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, or what I could have done to her. She’s simply the most amazing person and I didn’t want to admit that my feelings have changed.
I believe that the big issue is I am no longer physically attracted to her. I feel an emptiness when we had sex, and before, when I longed for his physical touch, now when she touches me I almost get uncomfortable, and I don’t want to kiss her or lay next to her.
Is it possible to get that physical spark back that I once had? Are we just done with the honeymoon phase? Or is the relationship done for good? I’m having a really hard time sorting out my feelings.
Maybe I just don’t want to admit that it’s over, because she is such a good person, but I seriously don’t know what to do. Two months ago, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and now, I don’t even know if we are going to make it though the day.
Any help is much appreciated.
TL;DR – My long distance girlfriend came home and I feel as if I don’t have the physical connection I used to. Is our relationship over?