I have a wonderful partner. He worships the ground I walk on. He's loving and verbally affectionate. He owns a small business and is hard working in that business. We share a lot of interests and things I do are almost always better with or around him. He makes me laugh, we share similar life goals. He has a good relationship with his family and makes effort with mine. He remembers all of my little preferences and genuinely tries to make me happy. However, there's something i've recently had a hard time with as it keeps showing up in our relationship. He has very low emotional fortitude. He can't handle stressful things on his own. He relies on me to "help him" or "make him feel better" when he's stressed about something. This doesnt happen with EVERYTHING but even something as being stuck in traffic or having to wait a bit longer for food will stir him up. His life is relatively privileged and he talks about/views his situation like it's significantly harder than most. Both of his parents had to work hard and travel to give him the life he has and they continue to work hard and his significantly more blessed situation has him throwing a pity party for himself that I cant empathize with. And thats not to say that his perceieved ills arent valid, they are just sooo small in the grand scheme of life and how bad anything could get. He's the baby of the family and i'm the oldest of mine and in moments like this…it really shows. Recently, one of our cats started to act weird while I was at work. He called me with a huge attitude and freaking out and i was extremely busy so I told him to just keep an eye on the cat and that as soon as things slowed down, i would give a call (im a manager of a restaurant on the busiest day of the week and we were down a staff member). He was really upset about me not dropping everything to help him sort this situation and said I put my job over my family even though it was only 2 hours. I trusted and relied on him to handle it and he simply couldnt. and then he tried to guilt me for it by saying i abandoned him during an emergency. Also, I am already aware that I am more emotionally intelligent than him, but many times when we argue, I feel like i choose my words carefully and Im not the kind of person to throw jabs or try to hurt the other person. But even when i censor myself and speak with his feelings in mind, he still perceives me as being mean and "making him feel bad" or "attacking him". I am a pretty stoic person and i work on myself daily to be able to confidently ride the waves of life. He is fully set on us getting married and before, i felt i wanted to marry him too. but im worried about his ability to be a strong and competent partner in life. Im worried about his ability to handle the kids if i cant be there or to emotionally regulate when a situation is a little more uncomfortable for him. Is this something that can grown with life and experience or I am setting myself up for failure? I also dont want to be the maternal wife or the parentified partner in order to achieve this. Any thoughts?