Im 25, recently done with grad school, wanted to graduate in 2024 but I didn’t. I’m living home while i plan my career or next move. My current circumstances make me feel alone, I don’t have friends. I have one person I talk to but we don’t hang out much, siblings in college. So this backstory is important because it’s as though I can’t relate to anyone. I opened up to my grandma or mom but my grandma tells me dating is more important (I never did) and friends will be hard to find and that this friend I’m writing about… I shouldn’t reconnect to. My mom and I don’t really talk so her advice was do what you want.
Had this friend I knew from childhood. We went to high school together. In college we were close and had the same major/ a lot of the same classes (small college) and always were together in and out of school, we had a lot of the same interest and for years things were great. some point she got new friends and I got hurt that the friendship was one sided. We didn’t ever really communicate and I assumed the friendship was dead. It was painful to watch her posts online so I removed her. I thought: why did she not care enough to message me, like I always did for her? For 2 years I figured I’d work on my own self. Not being clingy maybe that was it?
We came back in touch through being at the grad school orientation, we got coffee. It was nice because she was open to meeting again and said she’d love to hang out more, just tell her when. Etc. But I never saw her after… she followed my social for a bit but a while goes by and her social media just disappeared.
Years later she got engaged and moved. But she’s back now, my mom apparently saw her mom. They kinda talk together. My mom said it won’t hurt to reach out. At one point my mom blurts: you used to be so lively what’s going on? You hardly talk to friends you shut down.
Im just scared trying to resuscitate a friendship when im in a place of not having my own friends and still figuring my career out. Feeling like im so behind/ others are well adjusted… it may not be especially since people often say don’t go to the past. Did this friend show that she’s indifferent? Not that she hates me ofc but that she doesn’t really mind if I’m there or not.. What do you think? My confidence is shot because im applying to jobs and no luck. This friend lives like very close to my family home btw
Edit: we stopped speaking in our very early 20s. Got coffee that one time years later. Now we’re both 25. Haven’t spoke to her since that time. Not sure it’s dead