My partner (43M) and I (26M) are planning on getting married towards the end of 2026. It’s a very small thing, just some family and a couple friends.
His family (mom/sister) are very supportive of us so they were the first added to our invite list, We’re at around 20 people so far. We agreed to not talk about my family until very last because we can’t agree on whether or not they should be invited.
I grew up hearing the old “gay people are going to hell” all the time from my family, and when I came out my mom told me “I don’t want to see you holding hands or kissing a man because that would make me uncomfortable”. I was 19 when she told me that and it’s something that still hurts.
They’re somewhat okay with me being gay, and they try their best to accept my partner too but I can tell they still don’t like it. We just act like good friends when we’re around them to make it easier.
My partners been bugging me about inviting them and last night I finally told him about what my mom said. He said that it was a long time ago and I should invite them just because they’re family. I don’t want to invite them at all because I don’t want to dilute my relationship at my own wedding.
He understands where I’m coming from, but I can tell he’s still upset about it. Not mad, just upset because he wants my relationship with my family to be better while I don’t really care about my family.
I’m honestly thinking about just inviting them to make my partner happy, but I don’t want that to take away from our wedding. Whenever we talk about it, it just ends with me crying and him not getting why I’m so against inviting them.
(Edit- the whole age gap thing; We talked about it before we started dating, he’s never made me uncomfortable over the past 3 years, he’s amazing… which is why I’m marrying him. This has literally been our only issue).