So last night he said he’d call me, and I was excited and waiting. But he ended up falling asleep, and I didn’t get the call. I understand he was tired, and I’m not mad about that. What hurt was not being told right away like, “I’m really sleepy, can we talk tomorrow?” That would’ve helped me feel okay. Tho we did talk about it over the phone last night. I'm just quite bothered that when I try expressing how it made me feel he automically started being hard on himself. He said he felt useless. I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, but this keeps happening sometimes when I share my feelings, he spirals into guilt, and I end up comforting him instead of feeling heard. I’ve been working on not being so hard on myself, and I wish he’d try to do the same. I don’t think he’s a bad partner at all. I just feel like I’m the only one growing emotionally sometimes. I want to create a gentle “rule” together, like if one of us is overwhelmed, we just say hey I'm not okay I'll explain later or can we take a few?.” or when one of us is tired we say it and talk about it the next day, and when we do talk we try not to be dry to each other? Any advice on how to bring this up in a way that feels honest, not attacking? Or how to stop feeling guilty for expressing hurt? I don't like attacking my partner at all I never have. But it's been adding another layer I have to carry. Now I don't mind comforting him when he's going thru stuff. It's like I'm hurt and trying to make him feel better and I can't help but feel he probably feels the same way but I don't wanna assume either. I would rlly like your advice please and reassurance anything.
We created one rule tho that if he doesn't call me within a minute or two to call him
what could be a gentle rule I can try creating with him?