Me (20F) and my boyfriend (21M) had a disagreement a few days ago about him being non-confrontational. We’ve been together for a couple years and honestly I haven’t been open about this topic since I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Well obviously, it did. I pointed out to him that in every situation, he doesn’t speak up for himself or for me (e.g., his mother was 1/2 an hour late on his birthday dinner and although he was ranting to me about it.. he didn’t want to confront his mother on it) and constantly brushes it off even though he’s obviously upset. He has been this way since we met and it truly hasn’t bothered me until today.
{{SETTING: AT WORK}}
I received a random DM on Instagram, asking who I was. I go onto the profile and realize it’s a friend of my boyfriend (who is a guy) and I immediately tell my boyfriend about it since I thought it was weird. My boyfriend gives me the green light to go ahead and continue the conversation and I ask the friend who they are in response to their message. They proceed to insult me and basically confront me about following them.. who again I don’t know. I don’t take the disrespect and I tell my boyfriend immediately to please control his friend because he’s crazy! There is no record of me even following his friend and this was quite literally out of nowhere! He ends up messaging his friend about it and apparently it’s a huge misunderstanding.. his crazy gf took control of his account and sent the messages. I don’t believe a lick of this honestly but I’m at work so I leave it to something I’ll deal with when I’m home.
{{SETTING: AT HOME}}
When I see him, I ask to see the message thread and lo and behold… he reassured his friend to not worry about it and that they’re all good. For you guys to get a better idea, this is how it kinda went:
Him: Please don’t insult my girlfriend
His Friend: it’s not in my control, my gf is messaging random people on my account
Him: oh ok, I was just confused as to why you would say that.
His friend: yeah my bad
Him: don’t worry about it
So I was pretty upset. I went off on him and brought up the argument from a few days ago and told him this is exactly why I feel a little insecure in these types of situations. Meanwhile, he was telling me to just let it go and that’s it’s over with. I told him if the conversation is over with then our relationship is over as well. I told him to give me space and asked him to get out of our apartment. He left and hasn’t come back. I’m sad at the fact that maybe I’m not worth fighting for. I don’t know how I should move forward with this or how I can make him understand my POV better. Any suggestions?