Men of AskMenOver30! In the interest of creating a deeper, more engaging, and more relevant community for all of us, we've implemented a recurring, Weekly Wednesday check-in thread.
- How are you doing this week?
- How are you feeling this week?
- How have things changed from last week (if at all)?
- Are you proud of anything you've done this week?
- Are you struggling with anything this week?
- Do you need advice or feedback on anything that's happening?
Feel free to share your wins, losses, and general progress. You can talk about anything from work and career, to personal projects, to personal development and family, to friendships and socialization, even dating.
Life is ongoing, and sometimes it's good to have a community around us that can reflect that. Hopefully this weekly check-in will serve as a good tool and outlet for those who need it.
You are encouraged not only to post, but to respond to posts by others. Support your fellow men in their trials and tribulations.
Please be respectful in your comments.
5 comments
I’m doing pretty good this week. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do to make money, either a new career or just a more mentally sustainable way of paying my bills.
I keep circling back to some form of men’s group or network as part of this. But I keep seeing the shady money grabbing side of it. I’ve started a local mens group for free and see it as incredible meaningful for the other participants and me as a participant but also as facilitator.
Have anyone in here participated in a paid mens group that didn’t come off as greedy or extreme (to either side) agenda?
Soft launched some “getting to know ya” after a breakup. It’s been nice to get to know another person, no idea where it’s going but it’s nice to just speak to someone honestly and earnestly. It’s also nice to set boundaries, a weakness of mine in the past, and really get to work through some things that make me uncomfortable.
It’s also brought up some things for me where I’m like “is this an incompatibility or is it just pattern seeking?” Which has been a really interesting place to be and has allowed me to work through some feelings and refine some of my desires in a partner.
I’ve been struggling to sleep and that blows, but still managed the gym this morning and need to smash a few more solid workouts over the next few days to feel good about it. I’m down 25 pounds in about 5 weeks (not great, but my muscle/strength is still going strong — managed to bench 260 pounds for 36 reps today in about 6 minutes).
I’m 14 days consecutively meditating, but that number is actually higher. I’m over 21 days consecutive walking and journaling. I’m simply smashing my own goals and I’m seeing the results in my mind and body.
I’ve joined a few of these communities for folks of a similar age and I think it’s been nice to see what other people are going through and to have conversations around things that aren’t just toxic and burn it down. That has really been a game changer for me.
All in all, there’s always something, but we’re moving in the right direction.
Got a rough time coming up.
My partner and I are likely going to need to take a break. Not because we’re having trouble with one another, but because it’s *too good*. I’d just moved to her city this month, and with this new proximity she is finding herself increasingly preoccupied with me to the point that it’s interfering with her work. She’s been trying to put a lid on it, and we decreased contact to see if that helps, but it hasn’t. As soon as we get together her attachment skyrockets and distracts her afterward. We’re nearly 3 weeks into the month and it has not let up.
We were pretty attached already before I moved here, but it wasn’t like this. There were a couple hours between us, and that worked to have her hold it at bay. With us being literally walking distance apart though that proximity makes me feel too available.
Never in my life would I have thought being *too* compatible would be an issue.
39m. I’ll be working overtime 6 days a week almost every week for the rest of the year. This means less time to pUt MySeLf oUt tHeRe to meet women. I’m 39 and haven’t made it past a 3rd date or had a girlfriend. It’s becoming very obvious that i will never experience a romantic relationship. I don’t have the will anymore to do the usual introducing myself to a new woman. 20 years of constant failure will break anyone. This is what people mean by dating is exhausting. Constantly going back to the starting line is not how humans are meant to live.
I’m not looking for sympathy or cope. I just don’t want anyone else to live this way.
I am very frustrated right now. I accepted my current position over a month ago and IT has not gotten around to giving me the access needed to do my job. I have had to use my supervisor’s computer, with my supervisor’s credentials, in my supervisor’s office to learn my job. Now, my supervisor has a close family member who is sick and it doesn’t look good. She had to take off this week due to an emergency hospital stay, will likely have to take more time off in the near future, the only one who can do her job is myself, but I don’t have the access to do it. I understand that running technical support for a large company is very hard and there’s a lot to do, but a month to approve credentials for an interior promotion is absolutely ridiculous, especially after my director has told them multiple times to get it done. I need to do my job and be with my team.