I'm in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend had wanted to plan weekend trip with her girlfriends for her birthday. I sent her 200 bucks to go towards her trip.
Instead of gratitude, she responded with criticism. Saying it made her feel unloved and unsupported. Apparently in her culture, a relationship is a financial investment for the man and love is based off how much a man can spend. Which is very off putting for me.
Especially considering how over the the course of our 5 year relationship, I have invested thousands upon thousands of dollars. In all fairness, I had spent more on past birthdays (beyond my means). But this year I wanted to be responsible considering my current situation and spend within reason. So maybe the contrast is the issue here, maybe the lack of effort. But I wouldn't call $200 stingy.
Anyways, I'm pretty hurt and I'm questioning a lot of things. This thread alone won't determine the future of our relationship but I'd like to hear thoughts from real people. I want to know if you think I'm being cheap or inconsiderate. Is there a rule for how much to spend on birthday gifts? Maybe I've set a bad precedent…