Hi everyone, I'm on mobile, so apologies for any typos in advance. Also, this is going to be a long post since I want to give you as much detail as I can.
We decided to have a child last February and visited an obstetrician. The first one we visited scared us shitless, saying my wife didn't have any eggs, asked why we didn't try earlier, and recommended IVF (I do not live in the US or Europe, so it's normal for doctors to scare people for more money).
I try to support her as best as I can. I found another doctor with good recommendations. This one told us that everything was looking fine, to go and have sex, and to come again if she was pregnant or didn't conceive in a year.
This was around March, so we have been trying since then. It was hard, with negative tests at the end of each month. My wife quickly began to question why she wasn't conceiving due to the trauma of the first doctor. I always tried to support her and told her it was normal, that it could take up to a year or more.
In August, I lost my favorite aunt. I asked her many times to let me be with my family for the first week (as is our custom) and asked for her support. But she was aggressive towards me since we weren't having sex. She even told me, crying, that she wanted a child.
Three weeks ago, we learned that she is pregnant. Now she is seven weeks pregnant. It was great at first, but a week later, she started telling me that she is afraid to change her life. According to her, we have a very good life, and she doesn't want to change it. Now she is telling me that she doesn't want this child at all. She tells me she doesn't feel anything at all.
I mean, I am lost. I never spoke negatively with her. I told her to please remember why we wanted this child in the first place. I told her that we would make great parents. I told her that I would help her with everything. I told her that giving up would make me feel sad and heartbroken. I don't know what else I could say.
I really want this child, and if we abort this pregnancy, I don't think our marriage will last. This feels like the ultimate betrayal to me. We wanted this together for months; we were both sad when her period came. I mean, she even didn't support me during my mourning period. But when we succeeded, she decided she doesn't want it. I mean, why? I don't want to force her to give birth to a child she doesn't want, so I keep these ideas to myself.
Could you please give some guidance about what I should do? Especially women who may have experienced something similar?