F31/M30. Met through hinge (after messaging only a few hours.) The banter was good, we quickly moved to voice messages and it seemed like we got along. The next day he asked me to a coffee date. So far, so good. He was well dressed and groomed. He acted like a gentleman. The date ended up lasting hours because after coffee we walked around town, got lunch, then got a couple cocktails. Conversations flowed, but there were some glaring things that bothered me.
- I arrived on time, and he was outside the coffee shop on the phone. He recognized me and gave me a "hold on" finger, as he finished up the call, I awkwardly stood there. The context of the conversation was him telling someone to go back to sleep and to feel better. He didn't explain who it was or apologize when he was off the phone. My first instinct was is it's another girl.
- It took us a while to get a good conversation going. He presented as stern and cold at first. Almost bored seeming. I figured he's just shy. Eventually I brought him out of his shell, and he seemed to loosen up.
- He mentioned he doesn't have a lot of close friends because he's quick to cut people off, saying he's a hot head, but better at controlling his anger now.
- Kept giving hints about how "wealthy" he is. That he has maids, paid for his car in cash. I later found out he lives with his parents, he said he just moved back in with them to save money.
- He was staring at me over lunch and I said "yes?" And he said "just taking in the view," and looked me up in down with a smirk. Made me feel uncomfortable.
- At end of date we kissed (it felt too intense for a first date kiss,) and then he kissed me on the forehead (felt too intimate to me.)
From here, he did everything right, expressed he had fun on date and set a dinner date for a few days from there. He picked a nice restaurant, so I agreed. Before second date i was still feeling unsure, and that kiss grossed me out, so I texted him I would like to take things really slow for this next date. On the 2nd date he didn't try anything, so I was glad he followed my lead. But after another 2 weeks of texting I cut things off in a very polite way saying im actually not ready to date/want to focus on myself, but it took him weeks to stop texting me after that, (even though I left his messages unanswered.)
I'm in my head, wondering if I was too harsh. Overall, the date was fun. I'm not going to reach out to this guy or anything. Just want some outside perspective if my gut was right or if I overreacted.