Ladies who ended a situationship before it got messy — what was the exact moment you knew you’re out?
November 19, 2025
I’m getting back into online dating and collecting wisdom before I dive in again..
20 comments
The moment I caught myself lowering my standards just to keep things going. If I can’t ask for bare-minimum consistency without feeling like I’m “too much,” that’s my sign to exit immediately.
[removed]
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When he tried to manipulate me into getting exclusive with him while going back on hinge to figure himself out
When they act like they’re working soooo hard to actually treat you to the bare minimum. Like when they can’t be bothered to initiate a next hangout or whatever. Like if I didn’t put in the effort, we’d never see each other again…. so .. bye.
Lack of reciprocity. Minimal affection particularly in public. Emotional Unavailability.
My ick is always someone who wants to seem single and available to others. Its like going on a 2nd date over and over and over again, it doesnt “progress” after that. And they can seem disinterested or very cautious about any future milestones. I take my time with dating so im not speedy by any means, though its like theyre anticipating things going wrong. It takes me 6 weeks of entertaining a guy to realize and end a situationship. But you can technically spot it faster if you know signs of someone emotionally unavailable.
My last situationship always seemed super nervous super hesitant to relax and let loose. Im an introvert to begin with. But this guy was next level uptight as if he was waiting for failure. We staryed with formal dates then watched a couple of shows together, he piped in about “every woman is after money” … and that was the click for me that i should leave him alone. Im very reciprocal i pay for dates, i contribute financially, so i knew my intent with him but apparently he was still operating dating blindly with deep insecurities. Paranoia is a flashing warning sign that someone has a high guard up to make you “prove” your worth. He was affectionless, no touching, no making out, he’d sit like a robot (not a virgin he was 37 and talked a bit about his ex). Id ask for kiss and it was a peck. Every date was a 2nd date. And he’d still call to spend time together again of staring at a tv with dinner. I couldnt do it anymore and his behavior and conversation was just too rigid.
We were exclusive for 6 months. I asked if we’re in a relationship and he was like nope I don’t see how we would work out etc etc and I’m like, okay.
No more chances.
When he got too attached and started showing up at my work randomly. I wasn’t looking for a relationship so I ended it.
The constant fighting.
They’ve honestly always got messy first. Normally I’d lose attraction or couldn’t be bothered to keep it going. Sometimes they did something really bad.
He kept ghosting me and then he blocked me on his IG.
It seemed like he was trying to brag about hanging out with other girls to get me to be jealous or pit me against them or something
When uncertainty-induced (irregular reply, shady activities, etc) anxiety started to appear, i know it’s gonna go down from there. I always end it rightaway. Aint nobody son’s gonna mess with my peace of mind
Well he did treated me well but then I saw him purchasing a dress for his ex’s birthday and I was like hmm am I his emotional dumpster?
I prefer situationship who are emotionally not in pain lol. Plus he was too horny unlike before so yea
When I noticed myself waiting around to maybe hear if he was going to want to hang out. The embarrassment of feeling that small was enough to make me never pick up my phone for him again.
Another guy would act like a boyfriend for days, and then pull back and act all “we’re not dating” like brother, you’re in this push pull by yourself. I could tell it wasn’t an act with him and that he was genuinely befuddled by the whole emotional element. Knowing that, I was so genuinely detached from the outcome with him, and I decided that he was not worth my time.
Within a month of me denying hanging out with him, he was basically begging me to be his girlfriend. That was never my game but it does go to show that detaching from oitcome is always a winning strategy.
I’m not one to play games with people, but strategies that are based on self respect
always have positive outcomes.
He said he’s keeping his eyes open in case he meets someone who has the same plans as him (leaving the country soon). It sucked so bad. I didn’t realize how invested I was until then. But I also didn’t want to just be around while he kept his options open. I knew I deserved someone who chose me fully, especially with the kind of connection we built. It hasn’t gotten easier. There are still so many nights I replay our memories, but I know I made the right decision.
I was in a relationship with this guy for only a year when he said to me the biggest red flag EVER during an argument, “If I can’t have you, no one will”. I left immediately and he literally tried to jump on my car as I drove away.
If I feel their interest waning, I try to detach myself. Maybe this is unhealthy, but I think that if a guy isn’t absolutely obsessed with you in the early stages, it’s not going to work out. Men can be so fickle and easily distracted.
He got too drunk to listen when I said, “Not tonight and not ever on an air mattress.”
Tried to break up in person after that party, but he smelled it coming and sent the “this isn’t working out” text first.
SO: they have a bad relationship with alcohol. First signs of that, I bounce.
Honestly if I get even the smallest hint that they are a coke user I’m out. I dated an addict for a long time and literally lost myself trying to “save” him. He’s still spending several thousands of dollars on drugs every year, meanwhile he drives a 1992 sedan with tags that expired in 2014 and can’t even go on the highway, and has to ask for pay advances to get dog food. I will be single forever before putting myself anywhere close to repeating that situation ever again
20 comments
The moment I caught myself lowering my standards just to keep things going. If I can’t ask for bare-minimum consistency without feeling like I’m “too much,” that’s my sign to exit immediately.
[removed]
[removed]
When he tried to manipulate me into getting exclusive with him while going back on hinge to figure himself out
When they act like they’re working soooo hard to actually treat you to the bare minimum. Like when they can’t be bothered to initiate a next hangout or whatever. Like if I didn’t put in the effort, we’d never see each other again…. so .. bye.
Lack of reciprocity. Minimal affection particularly in public. Emotional Unavailability.
My ick is always someone who wants to seem single and available to others. Its like going on a 2nd date over and over and over again, it doesnt “progress” after that. And they can seem disinterested or very cautious about any future milestones. I take my time with dating so im not speedy by any means, though its like theyre anticipating things going wrong. It takes me 6 weeks of entertaining a guy to realize and end a situationship. But you can technically spot it faster if you know signs of someone emotionally unavailable.
My last situationship always seemed super nervous super hesitant to relax and let loose. Im an introvert to begin with. But this guy was next level uptight as if he was waiting for failure. We staryed with formal dates then watched a couple of shows together, he piped in about “every woman is after money” … and that was the click for me that i should leave him alone. Im very reciprocal i pay for dates, i contribute financially, so i knew my intent with him but apparently he was still operating dating blindly with deep insecurities. Paranoia is a flashing warning sign that someone has a high guard up to make you “prove” your worth. He was affectionless, no touching, no making out, he’d sit like a robot (not a virgin he was 37 and talked a bit about his ex). Id ask for kiss and it was a peck. Every date was a 2nd date. And he’d still call to spend time together again of staring at a tv with dinner. I couldnt do it anymore and his behavior and conversation was just too rigid.
We were exclusive for 6 months. I asked if we’re in a relationship and he was like nope I don’t see how we would work out etc etc and I’m like, okay.
No more chances.
When he got too attached and started showing up at my work randomly. I wasn’t looking for a relationship so I ended it.
The constant fighting.
They’ve honestly always got messy first. Normally I’d lose attraction or couldn’t be bothered to keep it going. Sometimes they did something really bad.
He kept ghosting me and then he blocked me on his IG.
It seemed like he was trying to brag about hanging out with other girls to get me to be jealous or pit me against them or something
When uncertainty-induced (irregular reply, shady activities, etc) anxiety started to appear, i know it’s gonna go down from there. I always end it rightaway. Aint nobody son’s gonna mess with my peace of mind
Well he did treated me well but then I saw him purchasing a dress for his ex’s birthday and I was like hmm am I his emotional dumpster?
I prefer situationship who are emotionally not in pain lol. Plus he was too horny unlike before so yea
When I noticed myself waiting around to maybe hear if he was going to want to hang out. The embarrassment of feeling that small was enough to make me never pick up my phone for him again.
Another guy would act like a boyfriend for days, and then pull back and act all “we’re not dating” like brother, you’re in this push pull by yourself. I could tell it wasn’t an act with him and that he was genuinely befuddled by the whole emotional element. Knowing that, I was so genuinely detached from the outcome with him, and I decided that he was not worth my time.
Within a month of me denying hanging out with him, he was basically begging me to be his girlfriend. That was never my game but it does go to show that detaching from oitcome is always a winning strategy.
I’m not one to play games with people, but strategies that are based on self respect
always have positive outcomes.
He said he’s keeping his eyes open in case he meets someone who has the same plans as him (leaving the country soon). It sucked so bad. I didn’t realize how invested I was until then. But I also didn’t want to just be around while he kept his options open. I knew I deserved someone who chose me fully, especially with the kind of connection we built. It hasn’t gotten easier. There are still so many nights I replay our memories, but I know I made the right decision.
I was in a relationship with this guy for only a year when he said to me the biggest red flag EVER during an argument, “If I can’t have you, no one will”. I left immediately and he literally tried to jump on my car as I drove away.
If I feel their interest waning, I try to detach myself. Maybe this is unhealthy, but I think that if a guy isn’t absolutely obsessed with you in the early stages, it’s not going to work out. Men can be so fickle and easily distracted.
He got too drunk to listen when I said, “Not tonight and not ever on an air mattress.”
Tried to break up in person after that party, but he smelled it coming and sent the “this isn’t working out” text first.
SO: they have a bad relationship with alcohol. First signs of that, I bounce.
Honestly if I get even the smallest hint that they are a coke user I’m out. I dated an addict for a long time and literally lost myself trying to “save” him. He’s still spending several thousands of dollars on drugs every year, meanwhile he drives a 1992 sedan with tags that expired in 2014 and can’t even go on the highway, and has to ask for pay advances to get dog food. I will be single forever before putting myself anywhere close to repeating that situation ever again