I (36f) matched and started speaking with someone (34m) from Hinge two months ago. We got on very well and spoke every day. For various reasons we only just had our second date on Saturday. It went very well. We were out from 8pm until 4am (nothing physical happened, we haven’t even kissed yet). At about 1am, as the bars were closing, I said to him ‘ok, we have three options, we either go into that bar, go for a walk or head home.’ He said definitely not option 3 and he didn’t want the night to end yet. So we ended up staying out and chatting until the wee hours. It was quite emotionally intense in that there was a lot of asking quite deep questions and he opened up about some of his past trauma. On the date he told me how he was looking to take things slowly due to some terrible past relationships with women with severe mental health problems.
Since the date his energy has changed. We have gone from a consistent stream of messages and back and forth every 30mins or so, to 7-hour delays between messages. It’s a very clear switch up in energy. I’m aware the super regular, every 30 mins messaging isn’t sustainable but this seems like night and day. When he messages he is still warm and thoughtful, but there does seem to be some aloofness there e.g. not sending stickers and memes like he would have.
As a recovering anxiously attached human this has set off the anxiety I thought I had left in the past. Do I bring it up in an ‘I’ve noticed the energy has shifted a little, is everything ok’? kind of way? Do I ride it out and try and sit in this anxiety, maybe assuming it’s a slight avoidant pullback after the date? Or do I assume he’s just not into it anymore?