My wife (37f) and I (36m) have been struggling with infertility for the last three years. I’ve had all manner of tests done and I am fertile. My wife suffers from endometriosis. She had excision surgery last year and despite being told our chances for natural conception would improve, we still have not conceived. My wife also had severe endometritis (bacterial infection inside the uterus) and was treated for this as well. Despite two physicians telling me it wasn’t necessary, she still insisted that I take doxycycline to treat an infection that I don’t have, thinking that we were passing bacteria to one another. I did a urinalysis and a semen culture and everything on my end was normal. I finished the doxycycline last week and I still feel very sick in my stomach. Hopefully it gets better soon. I did it because I love my wife, but I really hate the fact that she will listen to strangers on the internet over real doctors who we actually know. I especially dislike her fertility acupuncturist, who I feel blames men for all infertility. No matter what you say, she will always come back with “it’s the man’s fault.” I think it’s her business plan, which explains why she does so well. She plays on women’s emotions and satisfies the very human urge to feel that the bad things that happen to you are someone else’s fault.
Infertility is more difficult than I could have imagined. The emotional roller coaster, if you can call it that, is really something. Lately I’ve been feeling like we are stuck in this impossible rut, and we will never move beyond it. I really hope we still conceive naturally before we begin IVF. I feel if IVF fails for us, my wife will sink deeper into depression and there is nothing I will be able to do to help her. I don’t want to leave her, but I am beginning to understand why some couples split up because of infertility. Some people can picture a life that is child-free. Others cannot. I think that is where we are now. Obviously I will be thrilled if we have a baby, but if we don’t or can’t, I’m not going to let it ruin the rest of my life. I feel like my wife will. She keeps saying she won’t stop until she gets what she wants, but at what point does it become too much and utterly destructive?
It’s hard to find other men willing to talk about infertility, but is there anyone here who has experienced something similar? I find that support for infertility is shit for women, but completely non-existent for men. We are just supposed to shut up and deal with it. If it were only so simple. Does anyone else affected by infertility feel like they don’t know what to do anymore and are just scraping by everyday?