Does anyone ever get anxiety attacks from the thought of spending the rest of your life alone?
Idky but I get hit with a wave of anxiety just thinking about not finding love. Meanwhile it seems to happen so naturally with others. It doesn’t necessarily keep me up at night. But it’s a random thought that pops up. And it’s kinda scary. I mean at the end of the day I know I have myself, my friends and my family, but when I try to imagine the future. I can only picture myself :. Idc what ppl here think, I want to get married one day. I want a family. I’m in no rush to get there. But I feel like I missed so many steps to build that up in my life. And at 32M it just weirdly feels like I’m behind. Idk.
18 comments
Dude I feel this so hard. That random wave of “oh shit what if this is it” hits different when you’re in your 30s. Like everyone else got some manual on how to make it look easy and we’re just winging it
The “being behind” thing is such a mindfuck because there’s literally no timeline that actually matters, but try telling that to your brain at 2am you know
Been there man, that wave hits different when you’re just minding your own business and suddenly your brain’s like “hey remember you’re gonna die alone?”
32 isn’t behind at all though, tons of people are meeting their person in their 30s and beyond. The whole timeline thing is mostly BS anyway – everyone’s path looks different and social media makes it seem like everyone else has it figured out when they really don’t
That anxiety sucks but it doesn’t mean anything about your actual future, just your brain being dramatic as usual
I’m going through that same problem in my life right now and to make things more frustrating I live in a small town where it’s extremely hard to meet and connect with new people and that gives me the anxiety that I will never find someone and that does hurt.
Yes 32M single and also feel this.
I knew someone that didn’t get a girlfriend until he was 55. They were a happy couple and really great together. Everyone has their own path in life.
My man met me when he was 34. He had been single for so long that he had gotten comfortable thinking that the rest of his life would be him and his dog in his studio apartment. Right as he was getting comfortable with that sentiment, along came my stupid ass. He had become comfortable with the idea of never getting married and never having kids and now he couldn’t be more excited to take those steps.
Once he took the pressure of the timeline off of himself, things kind of fell into place. Strange how stuff like that works out
Nah. I used to worry earlier but after a bad experience, I have no interest in dating anymore. Probably need therapy for that. 🤔
Tbh we all d!e alone unless it’s a mass casualty event
I feel exactly the same. I’m 35 and get scared knowing my 40s are around the corner and I’m nowhere close to finding someone. Oh well. Lol
Im 27 and always been single. I get anxiety everyday. Tbh i just want a hug more than anything rn.
I have been single all 34 years of my life, I wouldn’t be anything else. Being single is the best
Man, I feel that so much!!! Really hope that you are able to find someone that meshes well with you. Sometimes it happens out of nowhere? Sometimes you have to look.
I just turned 30. At this point, single just means expendable income. Screw this rat race of trying to find a partner. I trust God, and so I’m not even looking.
Yeah, I had similar anxieties at 32 about never finding someone. Then I dated a string of people and had relationships that would have felt more natural if I hadn’t had those anxieties. I’m 44 now, remembering how anxious I was.
You might not want to hear this, but the more you expect something to happen, the more likely it is you will fumble when it does happen. You have to put things to the side and let them grow out of sight, out of mind.
At 32, figure out how to be satisfied being single. If someone wants to be with you, fine, don’t resist it. But don’t work yourself into a frenzy about what another person might expect of you.
I (M27) feel that way as well. No woman around me is single, everyone is in a relationship. And it’s not that I don’t meet new people. It just seems like the singles keep sitting around at home, while only those with boyfriends ever go out or do activities.
It’s like I’m in bizarro world.
I spent 12 of the past 15 years in an LTR. I get loneliness is a thing but I’ve rediscovered the freedom that being single affords.
Do what you want, when you want and how you want; it’s underrated imo. No one to nag you or share their unsolicited opinion on everything. You aren’t burdened with worrying about someone else 24/7. No fights, no arguments. No drama.
Just offering the positives of being single . Not saying there’re no positives being in a relationship. There are. And there are downsides to being single but at least for me, I’m embracing single life hard. For now.
I have felt this anxiety as well. Particularly about how my parents will pass away before I get married. This might sound a bit harsh, but one the things you have to do is accept it. There’s only so many things that we can do and are within our control. You have to learn to be comfortable with the idea that you may never be with anyone. Try to fill your life with things that bring you joy. Family, friends, hobbies. I’m not saying you’re going to end up alone for the rest of your life, but make it a point to not make it point of stress. Once you do that, you’ll find that things will be much easier. And if you do end up in a relationship, you’ll be in a much space mentally because you’ve built yourself not as a single person, but as a human being. Best of luck to you.
I mostly get depressy and tearful about it when I’m in my feels about it. I’m a 35F, I’m attractive, have a high paying job after intense training (and trauma lol), decently intelligent, but I can get anxious in social settings and in my 20s I had back to back abusive relationships that made me literally fear men for years. The other week I realized that I might be single forever and would need to financially depend on just myself to not end up homeless. And living in the US, I think of how messed up my life could become just with one spout of bad luck (an accident, a health condition) cuz government aid is obviously not guaranteed and living expenses are ridiculous. I’ve been in therapy for years and it’s funny how it’s greatly improved my quality of life, but seemed to make it harder to find a male partner… anyways. You’re not alone. I figure all we can do is focus on today, choosing peace or support or joy etc, plan financially for the future then stop obsessing over it, and make wise choices about our health and the people we devote our love and energy to. Oh and passion projects! I had a dream career I didn’t chase and now learning those skills has turned into my baby. Did I mention I really want to have kids? Lol severe doubts about that but whatever. I’m with ya on that being behind feeling but we probably are ahead in some ways, behind in others, such is being human, and many have families and still are behind in what they think are essential things. I’m behind in learning self love! That took wayyyyy longer than my close friends! But it doesn’t make me deficient as a whole. So you must not be deficient as a whole either…. And like I said, you’re not alone in experiencing grief over the loss of the idea of having a family at your age. I believe we have to feel feelings to heal/move through them… and in witnessing people older and wiser than me cope with grief over lost ideas about their life experience, connecting to true passions and personal dreams, giving back to others, and staying connected to a great support system keeps people sane. Mindset training doesn’t hurt either.