My bf 30M and I 24F have been in a 10 month relationship. All throughout the relationship he has always made me feel special and heard. Everything I take an interest to he finds a way to get it for me or take me to a specific place that I mentioned in everyday conversation. He has always mentioned he feels I’m too pretty to be dating him. He pays for everything, which he has stated in the beginning he would always do. I have also planned dates and outings in the beginning.
Our sex life has been through many ups and downs. In the beginning my sex drive was high, he would get bjs and I was adventurous. I then went on bc where I was in pain everyday. He understood and supported me with pain medicine,candy, and flowers to make me feel better. I then lost my job and had a lot of stress and my sex drive was all the way down. I then had a career change and enrolled in a university. He asked me why haven’t I initiated any sex and I felt that it was all one sided because he never does anything for me during sex. I asked him what he does exactly to help me feel satisfied and he couldn’t think of anything and just said he thought penetration was enough. He started to give me a little more attention during sex, I liked the idea of him trying but I just haven’t felt that inclined to be as adventurous as before such as with bjs. This semester has been extremely stressful with getting a new job and then getting fired, to the constant school work load.
My bf has been supportive financially and has bought me lots of things to make me feel good about myself. I never ask him for things and he would just tell me to use his card to do self care things such as buying beauty products, workout classes because he knows I enjoy it. One time he did mention maybe I can get bjs for all the things I get you but he took it back. Then he starts stating again that he doesn’t expect anything back but love and affection. I’m living paycheck to paycheck and so I barely have enough to buy myself anything or him for that matter. I try my best to make him feel appreciated by writing love letters and buying him random small gifts. He has helped me with a bit of my tuition and has linked his card to my phone. I try to set aside for quality time with him but frankly my libido has been so low and I’m always exhausted. He now mentions that he doesn’t feel like he’s getting anything out of the relationship and he feels that he doesn’t feel desired sexually and the relationship feels one sided. We have sex but I also give bjs when he focuses on me also. He isn’t getting anything for all the things he buys me and does for me. I don’t know what to think, I tell him that I’m just so stressed that my libido has been so low. It feels like he is upset his investment isn’t working for him but at the same time he is always there to listen to me and always plans experiences to distract me from all the stress and workload. He has mentioned before that sexual intimacy is how he feels connected and he misses the way I was before when I was all about him and focused sexually on him specifically with bjs. I don’t know how to think or how to proceed. I haven’t dated in 6 years and so I’m not sure how to feel about all this.
Tl;dr
Boyfriend does alot to make me feel special and buys me everything I want, which I explicitly don’t ask him for but he pays attention to what I am looking at and buys it for me. He says all he wants back is love and affection. He now mentions that he doesn’t feel sexually desired like he used to and doesn’t get random
bjs as before. He mentions it’s all one sided and he gets nothing from the relationship. How to proceed?