tldr: I started hanging with a girl, i had a mental health episode and went off on her. She said she didnt want to be friends. Should I apologize?
Ok so I (26f) started hanging out with a girl (27f) I met through my job. She's a customer. We hung out once and it was over all pretty awkward everytime we did hang out. But we ended up going to an event together. Now to add context we are both lesbians who dont know anyone else in the city we live in. I am bipolar and had a pretty bad manic episode so I was changing meds, getting over being manic, dealing with extreme depression so I was just mentally not doing good.
Side note: i am medicated and good now. After we went to this event together and it being awkward on the way home, my friend messaged me and let me know that the girl I was hanging with went back to the event without. I sort of lost my shit on her and went off about it.
Which looking back, idc if she went back. Its none of my business. Ultimately I just wanted to kms without it impacting her is really what mg thought process was. But I ended up being ok, and now I really feel like shit. I tried to apologize before (i was still sick) and not really in reality. and she basically replied w she isnt looking for friends.
We havent spoke in months, but I do feel bad about how I treated her. I dont even care about the friendship anymore, I just want her to know im sorry.
Does anyone have any advice on if I should text her? I havd a handwritten letter I want to give her next time she comes in, but given the nature of my job she could realistically go somewhere else. I want to text her explaining this but I also dont want to sound like im making excuses.
I landed on a short paragraph telling her its not her fault, she didnt do anything wrong;I did. I landed on a hold for my mental health. And itll never be awkward at work. Is this a good idea or am I just making it worse?