My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) have been together for 5 years and living together for about a year. Recently, he’s become a lot more social — going to more happy hours with coworkers, suggesting double dates (usually with people from work), and generally wanting to be out and around others more than he used to.
I’m a selective introvert, and the idea of double dates with people I don’t know or don’t necessarily want a deeper connection with honestly stresses me out. It feels draining and forced, not fun. Especially given it’s almost all work friends.
We got into an argument last night because he told me he wants me to show up for him sometimes with no hesitation — just be there, no questions asked. And I do hear him. I want him to feel supported. But I also don’t feel fully understood. Earlier in our relationship, he was the more selective one with his time, and I don’t know what changed or how to adapt to this new dynamic.
I’m just looking for advice on how to manage this mismatch in social needs without either of us feeling resentful or misunderstood.
TL;DR: Boyfriend has become way more social than he used to be, loves happy hours and double dates, while I’m introverted and find those situations exhausting. We argued because he wants me to “show up” more, but I feel misunderstood. How do we compromise and navigate different social needs?