I was involved in a car accident a month ago, and someone passed away. I've been frozen from that moment on, unable to access much emotion or thought about it. There are so many layers to this, and I've experienced fear and guilt – but above all dissociation.
I was able to meet with a therapist and they assured me this is a normal trauma response, one she sees everyday. But my friends and family have said things like you must be so distraught, so broken. And it scares me that I haven't accessed those places in me.
I've swung in the opposite extreme than I typically interacted with turmoil in life. I cried everyday for months last year due a heartbreak. And this time my brain is suppressing and numbing out, like I won't let myself go back to that place in any way.
But this is trauma unlike any I've experienced, as well as anyone in my life. Lessons I've learned about surrendering, detaching from painful memories/burdensome insecurities, expanding my world/perspective beyond any trouble I'm facing…Feels like they can't apply here. All these muscles I've strengthen to deal with life, won't help me here. I have so much to learn here.
I would appreciate hearing similar experiences, any stories regarding trauma therapy or EMDR, any advice?