Basically, my boyfriend and I haven’t had a day off together in a few weeks so I mentioned a few times throughout the week that I wanted to go to a nicer dinner tonight. He made the reservation this morning, but to be fair we didn’t really need one as it still isn’t high season and they were only half full. Everything was going great and I was so excited. I love when we get the chance to dress up a little and enjoy ourselves as it’s not very often. We’re both service industry and work a ton.
I knew since last night that he’d emptied his bank account and that I needed to cover dinner. He’ll pay me back in a few days when he gets his check. I know he will asap so I’m not worried about that part. Off season is wrapping up so it’s normal to be a little low on funds. But I was a little annoyed considering that I’d walked to the bank last Thursday to deposit $600 of his cash into his bank account–and he’d spent it all in a handful of days on bars and eating out. He bought me (inexpensive) lunch a few times so it’s not all him, but still.
We got to dinner and were having a great time. He ordered a $96 bottle of wine even though I politely advised against it when he asked. Although we’ve had many fights about him not saving money and how much he spends on alcohol. I don’t really love wine so I knew I wasn’t going to drink any. I had already ordered a really yummy cocktail. When the waitress (who we kind of knew, it’s a small town) comes out she offers us a $160 bottle of the same style of wine and does the classic upsell, oh this is way better, it’s my favorite etc. My boyfriend looks at me and I just shrug and say “it’s your money” because I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable in front of the waitress. He gets the stupidly expensive bottle of wine. Our bill came out to $364 which of course I paid and tipped well on because we know the girl and I’m part of the industry, so I always do it anyway.
I was fighting hard throughout the meal to not seem annoyed although it was eating away at me. He obviously noticed and pressed me so I politely admitted that the wine had bothered me. I’d rather be honest than fake about it. Things feel weird for the rest of the dinner. We walk home in the pouring rain. He was grumpy towards me when we first get home but soon apologized profusely and promised he’d make it up to me.
Side note, this morning I said that I wanted a new AC unit because ours was leaking/moldy and I was afraid it was making me sick. I’ve felt so fatigued lately and had seen the horror stories online about breathing in mold. He said he’d rather wait a few weeks because $300 on an AC unit was too expensive right now, then proceeds to order the goddamn bottle of wine. Yes we’ve lived together for a year and a half now and we split bills 50/50. I’ve payed all the monthly rent twice when he was unemployed last year. He covered me (the first and only time) last month because I took us on an expensive impromptu trip for his birthday weekend last month and didn’t have enough left over. I spent $2k for the weekend because he said he wanted to go and I wanted to make him happy.
He’s a lovely person most of the time and I really do adore him. I feel so ungrateful and silly for being so pissed off but I really can’t help it. Am I being unfair?