Hey everyone, I figured I'd share something that has been quite helpful for me in improving my social skills as someone who has battled with social anxiety and an inability to connect with others.
I often see many posts with specific strategies and referencing books etc. on how to improve your social skills. These are certainly valuable, but I always found it quite hard to keep up with everything. It was like I had a checklist in my head of "do this", "don't do this", "say this" etc. that was rooted in all of this information I was trying to retain.
Learning about specific skills and reading these books were helpful, but what I found to be much simpler was just staying present in any of your social interactions (obviously easier said than done). I also quickly learned that staying present was the basis of many of these tips I'd previously learned. And rather than trying to maintain this mental checklist, all I have to do is simply remind myself to be present.
- If social anxiety is an issue, be present and sit with these feelings and you'll feel them dissipate.
- Trying to think of the "right" things to say or queuing up the next thing you'll say while someone else is talking. Be present, listen, and the words will naturally flow out of you.
- Not feeling charasmatic or struggling to connect with others. Be present and you'll give off a natural and warm energy that people will vibe with and gravitate to.
Again, not discounting the more granular tips or books on this subject. But I've personally found this to be a far simpler construct to live by.
Final note – I am a pretty avid meditator, so a lot of these findings stemmed from my meditation practice. I understand that not everyone meditates, but the purpose of meditation is to practice being present, and then taking that from your meditation sessions into real life situations (like socializing). I'm sure many people have recommended meditation to you before, but definitely a big plus 1 that it genuinely helps you throughout all facets of your life
Hope this helps!