My boyfriend of 1.5 years and I lived with each other 5 months in total and the rest was long distance. We're in two different countries with just 1h of time zone difference. We didn't have the smoothest sail since the first weeks. He comes from a house where the mother, a housewife, was loud, non affectionate, can't regulate her emotions, and chaotic (at least emotionally) and the father traveled to work abroad for the past 15 years and doesnt get excited to come home to a wife that's not warm. In short, growing up, he didn't have an example of a loving relationship at home. Messing up life decisions, and not planning their future well, dragging the kids in poverty and scarcity until university years where he (my BF) traveled to study and live abroad in a third country (different than home, and different than where his father's live now).
On the other hand, my parents weren't the best example either. Two employees who started from barely anything, and built a "healthy" family, a nice house, and could afford both of their kids' university fees. Why "healthy"? Because I always heard them fighting over family stuff/members who sneaked between us to create tension. Mom would make other decisions for her marriage if she were to live it again, and dad would still take the same decision choosing my mom again. I always thought they were going to divorce when I was a kid and I still dont get how they still made it together all these years. But anyway, that's just for reference that my home isn't better either probably.
TL;DR, I am now going to therapy it's been almost a year and would love if my BF agrees to see someone too but he doesnt want to. He thinks it's just a modern female thing now, and that he reads and reflects a lot, and doesnt want to spend his money on someone listening to him. He would rather do it alone. It makes no sense at all to me but I can't do much here. I don't think the relationship is ever going to improve unless he heals his wounds too. Help! Should I stay and keep trying or leave and look for someone healed? (The second option is my therapists, friends', and family's advice. I love him and want to keep trying but I'm finding us in the same dark loop).