-35 M bf seems way too nervous to move in-
TLDR:
Am I tripping or is this a huge red flag 🚩 and indicative of bigger things other than being nervous moving out for the first time in his life?
long post but I want to give the details!
32F Been dating bf for a year and a half, met each others families early on and have celebrated holidays together and with them, had gone on a 3 week vacation with his family overseas and we have traveled alone together 4+ times to other countries.
We don’t fight, we make roughly the same amount of money, 100k neither of us have been married or have kids but I have a dog who he loves. We both spend time apart with our own friends and together with each others and it’s been incredible!
My concern is he is 35 and has never lived on his own, still in his childhood bedroom with his parents and sister. He says he’s moving in but I feel severe reluctance despite us talking in depth about each others concerns.
I moved recently into a much larger apartment with my best friend (she and I have lived together over 8 years and they have become good friends too) they are both more than ok with living with each other.
The topic of him moving in came up months prior to me moving. We talked about discussing further in December when my lease came up but unexpectedly a unit I’ve had my eye on for years became available at a great price and my leasing office allowed us to transfer early October.
My roommate and I decided to do it and I of course asked him again what he thought about moving in. He was reluctant at first (even though he spends 4 night a week here already) but the a day later on his own terms (not me badgering him) said that he wants to move in but needs till the end of the year. He said it was a lot of change for him so soon and was nervous about how his family would react even though they love me and he needed a few months.
I said that’s totally fine and was very excited. This place has a extra, large bedroom sized space he can have as his own when he moves in for his office and tech stuff as he is 90% WFH.
My concern is it’s mid November and he hasn’t made any progress with telling his family or moving small stuff in…even though he has started buying a few small things and took over paying the WiFi and streaming.
Am I tripping or is this a huge red flag 🚩 and indicative of bigger things other than being nervous moving out for the first time in his life?