I've been with my partner for six years now. I don't know if my frontal lobe is developing finally but I came to a realization that my relationship is making me unhappy. For context, 5 years ago, while I was postpartum of our first son, my partner wanted to go to the gym. I was never the insecure or jealous type, he didn't have to ask permission, he could just go which he did notify me and went on. When he came back home, I jokingly took his phone and said "let me see, did you cheat on me". I was not planning for the first thing on his screen to actually be a message that he sent his sister about saving a phone number for him under another woman's name.
All my youth I stayed away from relationships because I believed all men cheated, I don't know what about my husband made me change my mind but I gave it a chance which I regret everyday. I was so happy being alone and at peace. Anyways, the two things I detest the most are the two things he does the most. He always wants to go to his dad's house with my son to 'visit his dad' which I don't believe. His sister that covered for him lives there.
Why would I trust him going over? Anyways, this has turned to an argument almost every single time. Second, he always voices how much weight gain he has put on and how he needs to go to the gym. Absolutely not.
I never forgave him, I think we just decided to ignore it and continue with our lives but I notice that it's draining for him to accuse me of being insecure and jealous all the time. Yes, in a way it has gotten to that point because of his actions. I don't want to keep living like this. Can anyone with a similar experience tell me that they live happier divorced, rather than hurting everyday. I should have never tolerated this to begin with. What hurts more is he thinks I can get over this and I never will. I don't want to stop him from doing what he wants to do but he will never be able to do it as along as he's by my side. I think divorce is my best option.