How should I approach this? I can’t even begin to express and explain everything. It would take me a week just to thoughtfully write out these 3 almost 4 years of our relationship. I just want to say my boyfriend has been a great partner aside from his lustfulness. He’s been supportive. He provides. We are literally each others soulmates what feels like. We’ve gone through so much together. Since I’ve met him apparently he’s had a porn addiction in which I didn’t find out about up until maybe 1 year into our relationship. It was a huge issue for me. Ive expressed it to him and communicated so many times how it’s affected me. I WANT TO ADD I came into this relationship confident and with no self esteem issues. Just to mention I am 28 so 3 years older than him. I love sex. I could have sex 4 times a day multiple times a week if time permits. I’ve dressed up in lingerie. I love pleasing him. I’d do Anything sexually for him. I know physically it’s not a problem. I’ve been complimented on having an LA face with an Oakland ass. I know it may be weird to hear but it’s relevant because I know I’m a good looking person with a banging body. My confidence started to decline really badly after finding out he watches porn and masturbates to the point of it affecting our sex life. I started comparing myself to these porn models thinking I wasn’t good enough. Fast forward to today there’s been multiple times I’ve caught him watching porn and keeping lists of porn star names. He would lie to my face and swear up and down that there’s nothing he needs to fess up to up until he got caught. I’ve given him so many chances to confess and it would be lie after lie until I would actually catch him with evidence. That was tricky for me to do because his phone was squeaky clean. I just recently found out for a year he’s been watching porn and masturbating in THE WORK BATHROOM. I could not believe it when admitted it. I was like what the actual fuck. I’ve asked him why he said it was just something new and easy to get his nut vs having sex. That he was too tired to have sex in the mornings and didn’t want to wait until he got home. I mean months and months of me feeling manipulated into thinking I WAS the problem and crazy when I would ask him if he was hiding anything from me because I just couldn’t find actual evidence. I just had a gut feeling and he lied to me and would trigger me. I mean I was so hurtful because here I was doing everything for him sexually and doing his laundry cooking cleaning turning on his showers making him lunches. Dressing like a damn stripper and being a mini porn star for him and it wasn’t good enough. He knew how much all of this has taken a toll on me overtime and he still chose to do it. I’m at a loss at what I should do. I just need sound advice and I have already told him to go to therapy or it’s over with. Do I cut my losses? Or try therapy? Is it worth salvaging?
HE ADMITTED to watching porn at work for an hour picking a video waiting for the technicians to leave and then going into the techs bathroom to do it 3-4 times a week. I find this really pathetic and disturbing. Especially when you have a woman at home waiting to cater to you.
TL;DR my Boyfriend had been hiding the fact that he’s been watching porn for a year and idk what to do. Should we get into therapy for couples or porn addiction? Is it worth salvaging?