I’ve been with my husband for 9 years. Tonight we had an argument because his older brother and his family of 6 moved into our small town and into our house until they can find their own. It’s been 4 months since they’ve moved in and still haven’t even made any plans to move. I’ve bought up the subject of them moving out to my husband multiple times because we’re due with a baby this December and I want to start getting the house and rooms ready. Tonight, I finally cracked and told him that he needs to talk to his brother because I’m not gonna be cramped up into one room with my husband, 6 year old and a newborn. I cried and my husband just lost it. He swore at me, called me all the names in the world, threw crap at me, even threw a bag at my 6 year for crying told me I have no heart thinking of kicking his brother and his kids out of my house but that’s not it. Since his brother and family moved in, they haven’t helped with anything. No helping with bills, buying groceries, buying food for us to eat. Absolutely nothing. They don’t even help keep the house clean. I’m fully pregnant and doing all the cleaning, the cooking. I’m even paying rent because my husband hasn’t been able to find a job since March! He told me that I should move in with my dad but if I’m paying rent, bills etc then why should I move?! I’ve had it. I don’t know what to do! All I know now is that I hate this man with everything! I’m ready to leave this house behind, leave him behind and start fresh with my babies. My brother and his wife are ready to take me and my babies in.
49 comments
You need to take your child and go. Not tomorrow. Right now.
Take your husband by his word. Move! Leave him and his brother to figure bills, cleaning etc.
He just showed you where you and your children stand on the totem pole. Believe him and get out of there op. Stop supporting him and his family.
There’s almost no way this gets any better. I’d leave immediately if possible, because he’s definitely not saying leave because he wants that. He’s saying it to degrade you and make you shut up- exactly the same goal as the violence towards you and your child.
That means if you stay to pack up, there will likely be more violence and danger, to make you stop trying to leave. You’re his ticket to zero housework, paid rent and looking amazing to his useless brother. There’s no way he’ll let you leave if he can abuse your child and make you stay.
Please report these assaults if possible where you are. There should be a record, especially of him hurting your child.
Go now, do not pay another penny into that house, keep records of EVERYTHING all abuse and that includes financial and physical, get your stuff packed and get out now, make sure your name is off everything connected to the house too
I’m so sorry OP. I don’t have words for what a lowlife your husband is proving himself to be, him and his taking taking taking family. Of course you can’t be responsible for paying for housing for NINE PEOPLE while pregnant, and doing the cooking cleaning and shopping? Insane. Go to your family. Let them treat you with the gentleness you should have been getting from your good for nothing husband. You’re obviously tough and a survivor to have made it this far with your leeching husband and in-laws, you will land on your feet. I believe in you.
From an outside perspective, your best path forward is clear.
Go with your babies to your brother and his wife’s home. Make your departure as amicable as you can, perhaps leaning into his idea of going to live with your Dad, it is better that he doesn’t know precisely where you are going anyway.
Once out of that situation, discontinue paying for expenses that are not yours. Contribute to your brother and his wife’s home while making plans to find your own place. I wish you all the best luck on your journey.
Stop paying everything cuz you’re not going to live there anymore and go stay with someone else
Leave with your son as soon as you can safely do so.
Hit the kid, over.
Go to the police. Your husband hurt you and your son. You know what he’s capable of. Protect your children at all costs. Tell his family he hurted both of you. Don’t hide anything. Go to the police and file a report.
Move in with your dad or your brother and SIL and don’t pay the rent.
Tell your husband, “Okay. You win. I’m out.”
The whole kit and kaboodle will find themselves without free housing and food. No one will be preparing meals or cleaning. Oh, well.
I am sooo sorry you’re facing this, especially while pregnant.
Go! Don’t wait around with these freeloaders. Protect yourself and your children. Leave it all. It’s not worth the fight.
I am so sorry! I don’t know how you’ve dealt with this situation as long as you have. For your sake and the safety of your children- please take your brother up on his offer and leave!! This will not be the last time he is abusive.
Leave now. Most leases these days will let you out due to domestic violence. Let them try to qualify for a lease and figure out how to pay it without you.
Sis… this man has shown you who he is. YOU ARE PREGNANT and he put his hands on you and also hit your little one? Honey, no, no no no. You need to LEAVE asap. Do NOT give this man or that household another penny. Let that scrub you’re married to and his ilk deal with the consequences of their actions. Your NUMBER ONE priority is making sure you, your baby and your little one are safe. This is NOT a safe environment. He’s gonna apologize and tell you that you drove him to do what he did and say what he said, but it’s ALL HIM. What kind of man hits his pregnant wife? A lowlife, that’s who. Please go live with your sister. It is RIDICULOUS of him to expect you to keep paying for his loser family to keep
Are you at home right now? Is your husband at home? If so I would grab my phone, my child and leave. Do not pack things as long as he’s there. Only take your ID, cash and go “grocery shopping” be calm and nice!
If you can’t leave without him getting in the way, grab your child and go into the bathroom with your phone and lock the door. Call the police and tell them you need to be escorted out of the house.
You are pregnant and he hit you (your baby!) and your child! This is potentially and statistically a very dangerous situation you are in.
As soon as you could leave the house safely, move in with your brother and start the process of eviction or getting out of the renting contract. Get a restraining order for you and your children. Don’t go back to him ever!
You are stronger than him, you deserve better and you are worthy of a beautiful and peaceful life without him!
I wish you and your babies all the best.
Yeah this is not going to get any better. Take your sob and leave to your brothers house, lick your wounds and start fresh.
Stop paying for anything in this house. You should not be responsible for any of them. Let them handle it themselves. Also don’t forget to report this in case your soon to be ex comes after you for alimony or custody of your son.
What are you waiting for?
Leave… get you and your children to safety
Omg I’m so sorry. This is the start of the slippery slow that is DV. Please remove yourself as quickly and safely as you can. Log everything, report him to the police.
You have a safe place to go a your home is unsafe. Go. Please. Being pregnant is the most dangerous time in a woman’s life and he’s made it very clear you are in danger.
Talk to your obgyn for resources and guidance.
Please do not stay in there. It will leave you feeling powerless, demoralized, unsettled and angry. And it will make your children believe this is how they should be treated in relationships as well…
Be safe and start anew by reclaiming your life. All the best. You got this.
Get any important papers, birth certificates, passports, bank information and once you are out, make a police report.
Get to a safe place first
So you are one person supporting two full families?? Weird
He hit you. You’re paying for and doing everything. The only income in the house. Leave. Take your child and leave because he’ll do it again.
Leave
You have no heart because you want the freeloaders to move on, but he’s so full of heart that he physically abuses his pregnant wife and his kid. Right.
You probably should take up your brother’s offer.
LEAVE. GO TO YOUR BROTHERS HOUSE.
Move in with your family. Once he’s laid hands on you once he’s bound to do it again.
There are so many better options out there than this sorry excuse of a man. Take your child and your money, and leave this bum. You’re the prize. Seriously—ask yourself, what’s the benefit of staying with someone who’s lazy, inconsiderate, and puts his hands on you and your child? Let your children be your motivation to leave. I promise you’ll be so much better for it .
Oh hell no. Leave. Now, he has to choose between his wife/ kid and his brother who needs to get up on his own damn feet
Go now. Say nothing and pack lightly and quickly.
Just evaporate
There is no justification that is acceptable for a man to physically assault a pregnant woman or a six year old child. You need to call your brother to help you move out, file for an order of protection against your husband citing fear of domestic abuse for you and your child, then file for divorce. What your husband did is absolutely unacceptable and he will likely continue this pattern of abuse. LEAVE NOW!!!
Damn, im so sorry about all this.. call your brother and have him come pick yall up
Call the police, file a report. Get a restraining order and move in with your father.
Dont be dumb. You HAVE TWO LIVES THAT DEPEND ON YOU.
File for divorce after you file a police report. Use the police report as a reason for the divorce.
Dont play stupid. He hurt your child. Think like A MOTHER AND NOT A WIFE.
As soon as possible collect all your important paperwork. Prepare to leave ASAP, but be careful; he has shown you he can be violent and once he realizes he and his brother’s family are losing their maid and meal ticket he might get very angry. Don’t buy his pleads of sorry. If possible pack your things when no one is home, if that isn’t possible slowly move things, you can simply say you are donating stuff.
Make an appointment with an attorney to find out your legal obligations. At the very least leave today! If you even consider staying with husband at least move out and don’t pay bills until brother in law and family are out. Update us
Move in with your dad and take your rent money with you. If you file a police report for the assault you could probably get out of your lease based on emergency relocation.
The number one cause of death for pregnant women is being killed by their partner.
The more my husband and I read the more horrible it got. Girl, you deserve so much better.
Move yourself and your son in with your dad or your brother. Stop paying anything for your deadbeat husband and his deadbeat brother. Bring your important papers, driver’s license, birth certificate for you and your son, passports, etc. Take all of your money out of an joint account and put it into an account in your name only. Cancel any joint credit cards or lines if credit. If you have a car loan in your name, take the car.
Leave he will be lost, and you will be fine. I am old live alone and I felt more alone when my husband was with me! I wasted my time on a guy who fooled the world but truly was a bum. I love my daughter and Grandchildren so I am Blessed. Good Luck sweet lady 💕
Take your child and go. If you feel the need to pat rent, you can pay your dad or brother/SIL. Your husband and the freeloaders can figure out how to pay rent while you and your 6yo are safe. You can even figure out the space for you and your 2 children.
I see your point about why should you go when they’re the ones causing trouble but they and especially *your husband* have shown they aren’t going to change so you have to.!
Lastly, and most importantly, your husband didn’t only choose his brother, he actually physically abused a child and a *pregnant* woman. That says WAAYYYYYY more than him letting his family move in and not contribute to the household.
He made his choice. You get to make yours. Please choose to keep yourself and your children safe.
Good luck!
Please UpdateMe about how it goes..
Leave honey. Get your important documents and any and all rental and bank documents. Take your babies and go. See how he feels when next months rent isn’t paid. You deserve better.
Are you good with your landlord? Because I would go to them, explain that you have 6 people in the house that aren’t on the lease and are refusing to leave. Get yourself off the lease and out of the house with your kid ASAP!! I know everyone is saying just leave (which you absolutely should like today!) but you will still be on the hook for the rent if you leave. Filing a police report about the abuse will give you victims rights and allow a legal out of the lease.
If they won’t let you off the lease leave anyways. And take picture and document everything as you left it before you leave in case they destroy stuff.
And hard as it is to hear, your husband is using you. Don’t let him. Show your children that they deserve to feel loved and safe.
You are obviously very strong. You deserve better!
Do it. Open an individual checking account, same with credit cards, put a lock on your credit, so no one can run your report or apply for credit/loans using your credit.
Have your baby in a place of peace, not in anger and resentment. You have family willing to help and support you. It’s time to focus on you, and your beautiful children. They deserve a better environment than one of anger, rage attacks and resentment all around.
How will you keep them safe when the baby is screaming, your son is crying, dinner hasn’t been fixed, and your husband is losing his shit?
Choose your children. Choose yourself.
Make a police report, this will help get you out of any utilities and such if they’re in your name ( among other things). Get out now. Get anything you care about out of that house and go.
I would call the police. Have them come and make a report of the abuse . Have them stay while you gather all of your longings. Have your family come and help too. This way he cant hide documents or try and stop you.
The audacity of this man, freeloading and his sponger family. For reals how can people can be like that and you pregnant. I feel so bad for you, i would say kick them all as is your house you are paying for by yourself. But in your situation is better you avoid all this drama, go to your brother and let this scumbags to tend by themselves. Lets se if the brother wont move. Im sure he wont help your husband paying. This kind of people the moment they know they need to start paying, they will pay for they own place.
It happens. They wouldn’t have money to help you but once you ask to pay suddenly they will have it for their own benefit.
Girl, wtf are you waiting for…. Leave…..
It is so obvious what you need to do. Please do it for your safety.