Hi all! this is my first time posting to reddit but basically as the title says, my boyfriend wants me to take from my personal savings to help him with his bills but I honestly don’t want to and I feel really guilty about it.
I’m going to try to not make this crazy long but there’s a lot to unpack so please feel free to ask questions if anything is too vague or doesn’t make sense. My thoughts are currently all over the place so sorry if there’s any mistakes.
For a bit of background, we live in an apartment which he owns but the monthly fees are really high. The apartment is under his name as he had it before we got together, I have never had my own place and legally still live with my parents. I currently don’t have a job as I quit a little over a month ago due to personal reasons, and will be going back to school so I am not looking for employment as my parents have funds for my education. My bf has a full time job and has been there for almost 10 years now, however the owner recently changed which he’s pretty unhappy about as the new owner isn’t a good guy. Up until this point my bf was fairly happy with his job as he use to be able to nap most of the days and didn’t really do a lot of work, but with the owner change he hasn’t been able to nap or relax at all. I understand it’s stressful but he now wants to quit and unfortunately told that to the new owner even though everyone told him he shouldn’t. Now the new owner is looking to replace him so my bf is panicking that he won’t have any income and wants me to take from my personal savings to cover his expenses.
I love my boyfriend alot and want to spend my life with him but I’m really uncomfortable taking from my savings as I don’t think I should have to, however he thinks I should since in the end it’ll be “our” money anyways and it’s better than him losing the apartment. The thing that really irritates me is he’s super into crypto and has a bunch of money put into it but he refuses to take anything out. When I was working I would regularly send him money to help out with bills and other expenses, but now that I don’t have a steady income I can’t send him as much as I use to and am running low on funds. Luckily as I still partially live with my parents I don’t have many expenses (no bills at least) so I’ve been able to afford helping him. I’m just really stuck with what to do because I want to help him more but I don’t have the means to, and I’m starting to get pretty upset that he keeps pushing me to either get a job or take from my savings. He also could ask his family for money which I know is embarrassing but I feel like he’s putting this all on me without exhausting other options. My parents also are really against me giving him money, especially from my savings, and they refuse to help him as they’ve already had to dig him out of multiple holes previously. I love this man a lot but it’s starting to get hard not to be upset with him, I know he’s struggling a lot but I’m already stressed enough with going back to school after completely changing my career path, and I’m just so worried that this will break us. I’m not always the best girlfriend, I’m not great at cleaning up after he cooks and I’m not good at talking about my feelings but I just hate how upset he gets at me while I still support him constantly even though pretty much all he does besides go to work is sleep or complain or talk about crypto. Sorry I’m starting to ramble but any advice would truly be a blessing I’m just so stuck right now and I don’t want to lose him or myself to this.
TLDR: My boyfriend wants me to take from my personal savings to help with his bills without exhausting his other options and I’m worried if I don’t our relationship will be over