It was my 30th birthday last month. Prior to this my girlfriend asked me what I wanted from her and I said I'd like a small get together of just a few close family and friends so if she could organise that it would be great.
There's a bar near us that lets you book the place out for free if you have at least 10 people as it's a small place so I mentioned possibly going there and she nodded and said okay.
My birthday came and I got nothing like that. I got a card and a couple of little gifts (2 gift cards and a book) from my gf but no gathering or any sort of celebration.
I was upset at this and my girlfriend asked me why I was upset and I explained it to her. She said it would have been a hassle trying to get everyone together and would have took a lot of work to organise.
I told her she knew how much it would have meant to me and that she literally asked what I wanted from her and then chose to ignore it. I said it hurts hearing her say I'm basically not worth any effort.
She said I should have done it myself then but I pointed out she literally asked what I wanted off her and I told her so why would I then go and do it myself when she didn’t say she wasn’t going to bother doing it.
She said I was trying to guilt trip her but I told her I was just expressing how I felt about it. She said I was being too unfair and that I should be happy with what I got.
I told her she doesn't get to tell me when I can and can't be upset and that it obviously hurts knowing your partner doesn't care enough to even try to organise what I wanted for my birthday.
She again said I was guilt tripping her and deliberately trying to make her feel bad.
Does anyone bag any advice on how best to approach the situation or have any other perspectives on it?
Tl;dr my girlfriend asked what I wanted from her for my birthday and I told her. She then ignored this and accused me of guilt tripping when I expressed my upset.