Hi! I think this is my first real post,
so please excuse me if I don't do things right, but here goes:
I'm part of a political association, and there was this girl I'd noticed out of the corner of my eye, but I didn't try anything with her because I was still in a relationship, and she was so cute that I thought she was in a relationship too, but she wasn't. I had already spoken to her two or three times, but only as a friend, about video games, like a geeky friend, because I never thought it would work, or within the group, etc.
A week ago, we had a conference in the afternoon, and I talked to her a lot, teasing and joking around, and it worked well; it was fun without having to think about it. In the evening, the group went to a bar, and we danced, shared our musical tastes, and drank.
It turns out that one of the leaders of the association (we're all in our twenties) had had his eye on her for months, as I think did pretty much all the single guys in the group.
He bought her quite a few shots, stood between her and me, and put his arm around her neck (from behind). I understood what was going on, didn't care, and moved to the other side of the bar to manage the music. Except that once his grip loosened a little, she immediately moved to my left and we started talking and laughing.
We left, and in the street she wanted me to carry her (like a princess). I refused and offered to carry her on my shoulders instead. Once on my shoulders, she had her hands on my chest under my sweater and we were laughing so much that before joining the group at the bar, we separated from them on her own initiative to “buy cigarettes.” She then suggested we go to a bar, we flirted, we drank on the terrace, I was being sweet, everything was fine.
Then her friend and the head of the association arrived. One with a carefree smile on her lips and the other furious and with a killer look in his eyes. The girls went to the bathroom and the leader warned me, “She's mine. I know you're handsome and can do it, but she's mine, so don't try anything.” He made me promise with a drink each. Knowing that they weren't together and that I had seen her avoiding him a little, I took it as a challenge.
As soon as he turned his back, I repeated the guy's words to the girl I was flirting with, saying, “Apparently, you belong to him,” and teasing her. After a few whispered comments and some teasing, I kissed her two meters away from the other guy. She was hesitant and surprised, but I kissed her again and she kissed me back.
After a while, we slipped away from the other two and met up in a bar to talk, flirt, and kiss. She was starting to get tipsy (which isn't my goal; I had a girlfriend who drank too much, and it was horrible). I then suggested she go home (being drunk myself, I didn't mind going with her, but I only hinted at it). She asked me to call an Uber, and I helped her into the car when she grabbed my arm and asked me to come with her. I asked why, and she replied that I shouldn't let her go home alone given where she lived.
I went up with her, we kissed, and then she fell asleep. So I could already see the evening ending in nothing for her and me. I took her to her door, and the other guy called her asking where she was and if she was alone, and she lied to him.
She opens the door and says, “I'm not going to let you into my house, am I? … Go inside before I change my mind.” Once at her place, we make out, then she suddenly falls asleep, which is a little weird, so I fall asleep without touching her, of course.
The next day at 5 a.m., she wakes up and is afraid it's the the other guy. She tells me that he has bought her drinks several times to get what he wants, and that she takes advantage of it but doesn't want anything. She tells me she has a blackout about the evening. I make her promise to meet me again for a date, kiss her, and leave at her request after promessing her to not say anything to anyone.
In the morning, she sent me the first message saying that maybe I should have just walked her home. A bit cheeky, considering that I had just shown my desire without asking anything.
The next day, with no reply to my texts, I call her and ask her out on a date. She tells me she doesn't know when she'll be free, then five hours later, around 10 p.m., she sends me a text saying she doesn't really like this situation and wants to leave it at that. She refuses to let me call her to talk about it in person.
I didn't send any more texts, but two days later, at a meeting of the association where she wasn't present, the boss takes me aside to give me a dressing down about this girl and our promise with this guy, and tells me that it's unacceptable to go to a drunk girl's place even if you're drunk yourself, that he considers it a rapist's technique (which is funny/insuting because we're the same age [with the guy] and I hardly paid for any drinks for this girl myself, but him on the other hand…).
I spoke to the friend of the girl I hit on, and apparently there were suspicions of drugs in the drinks because several other girls, even those who were sober, had blackouts like her. This would explain her reaction and rejection, which was totally normal. She must have been scared, especially after waking up naked with me without remembering much.
So here I am now. I haven't contacted her since, but I like this girl, so her friend suggested I wait for the association meeting in another week, where she will be there to talk to her, not before.
But what should I talk to her about, and how should I behave with her to have a chance? Should I act as if nothing happened and tease her, talk to her without thinking too much about it? Go apologize and clarify the situation first, explaining that I didn't do anything to regain her trust and erase her possible doubts? Do I still have a chance, and if so, how?
Thank you for your help, it's not great.
Sorry if my english is not that great but it is not my native language.
Thanks !