Good morning, I’m a 24 year old female married to a 26 year old Male. Through out the 3 years of our relationship, he’s been giving me silent treatment whenever we are in conflict . His excuse is that he wants to take time off, he doesn’t like arguing but the problem is that the next days he’ll be mean to me talk in belittling words and blame me. I also have to beg him to solve things. Sometimes I beg for the entire week. Then when he talks to me he just wants me to say that I’m wrong and apologise. I’m honestly tired of it now. We have a 7 month old baby and we are long distance. The baby stays with him and his mother. So recently we had an argument about finances, he said that I was not responsible with my money so he’s not gonna assist me, which I honestly understood and told him that it’s cool I’ll use my savings. Then a day later we talk well in the morning, I wished him good luck on his first day at a new job. We didn’t talk much until around 3pm, where he sent me money and a text that says “Next time think of yourself first, not that nonsense you did”.
Mind you, whenever we’re in conflict he usually uses the word “nonsense” to describe my point of view and words like I’m stupid or I’m thinking backwards. When I confronted him about it earlier this year I said what will you be teaching your daughter when you treat me like that. He said that “my daughter will be smart unlike you”
So today after he sent me the money and that text, I replied with this text “I understand what you’re saying, but I already took responsibility for that decision and told you that I’ll use my savings, and we’d moved past it.
What I don’t appreciate is being spoken to in a belittling way. I told you before that I’m always respectful when speaking to you and I expect the same from you.
If helping me makes you feel like you have to talk down to me, I’d honestly rather return the money.” Then he replied by “bring it back” then I said “already sent” then he gave me silent treatment and the next day he texted me with pictures of him at that new job and I just reacted with a heart. He gave me silence again until this morning he sent me a text telling me about his festive season leave days and if I can arrange mine to fit his. Honestly it irritates me that he ignores my boundaries and expects me to beg, if I don’t beg he acts like nothing is wrong. What should I do