I'm "retired", I don't do this work anymore, but y'all will not stop asking me to explain what these "rules" are, so I'm putting it out there once and for all! I hope these are helpful for you. This is from a woman's perspective. They definitely have helped men in the past. Please read these before you decide to message me for help!!!

  1. Do not obscure your head/face: no hats, sunglasses, masks, hoodies, bad lighting, etc. Why? When a woman sees your first pic, and you look really cool with those shades and a hat, she will fill in those obscured parts with the most ideal version of a man's face that she can think of. Then, when she swipes to your other more revealing photos, she will inevitably be disappointed. If you are dying to put in a cool sunglasses shot, put it last.
  2. No photos with other men or women, unless they are in a completely different older generation than you. Men, if you put a pic in with you and your boys, there is a high chance that the woman looking at it will think one of the other guys is better looking than you. I know that's brutal, but that's what happens. Do not make it harder by comparing yourself to other guys. The same goes for pics with other women–do I really need to explain this one? Your mom or dad is fine, your sweet ole granny is fine. No kids, unless you want to show that you're a single dad (which is fine if you're a single dad).
  3. Show variety. Do not have every photo where your arms are crossed and you are smiling directly at the camera. Do not have every photo of just your chest up. Change up the perspective. Get those full body shots in and those closer shots. Get ones where you're posing for the camera and ones that are more candid, like someone snapped you by accident.
  4. Wear clothes that fit and aren't the clothes of a teenage boy. Please do better than an old oversize T-shirt and jeans. Women are very keyed into what clothes makes them look better. Think like a woman in this way. Consider what sizes and cuts make you look slim and tall. It doesn't matter what your aesthetic is, but please have one.
  5. You do not need professional quality photos. I say this as a previous pro photographer. Smart phones are much more in line with the quality of photos that are appropriate for a dating app. If it looks like you did a slightly more fashionable LinkedIn photoshoot, that is not the vibe on the apps. If you are really into photography and that's just your hobby, that would be an appropriate exception. Being HD with a blurred background should be very low on your list of priorities.
  6. Really think hard about what angles make you look your best. If you're shorter, don't take photos from above that truncate your frame. Get that camera closer to the ground to make you look taller. If you're a little chubby, don't stand sideways, face directly at the camera and get some clothes that have good shape to them so they support you rather than hang on you. Think about your face shape a LOT. You want to make that illusion of a sharper jaw. Sometimes that means slightly angling your head, or getting that candid that's just at that right angle that is the most flattering for you. Again, women are super keyed into this with their own photos, and if you want to attract a woman, you have to think on her level for this.
  7. No distasteful selfies: no car, bathroom, or gym selfies (unless you're shredded and just want casual hookups). Don't do those bad lighting things where you look like a serial killer…which leads me to the next point…
  8. Don't grimace. Please have a some smiling photos. We like a happy boy. Don't glare down the camera because you think it makes you look tough. That might be "stoic" to you as a man, but it is scary to us as women. Look inviting.
  9. Have a tasteful amount of photos. 3 photos is probably not enough. I tend to like the 5 – 8 range.

Any questions?


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