My wife and I have been together for 10 years married the last 2. I have always been very physically attracted to her since the beginning of our relationship. Within the last few years, she had made the decision to get on hormonal birth control. I'm sure we all know that a common side affect is weight gain. She gained maybe 20lbs but this was never a problem to me. I thought she still looked amazing even a little more plump.
However, things didn't work out, she ended up with migraines and ultimately stopped taking the pill. Along with getting off the pill, she lost the extra weight she had gained. So this means she'll go back to looking like she did pre-pill, right? And this is where I'm struggling really hard. Her body looks nothing like it used to. Her breasts are deflated and saggy now and she looks really bony sometimes. To the point where I can see her ribs and spine pretty obviously.
I've been really trying to encourage her to exercise not only because it would be healthy, but it would also get her to possibly eat more. But she'll work out for a few weeks and then stop. Rinse and repeat. As for eating she'll sometimes does really well and eats 3 meals an day. Others, she gets stressed about something and eats next to nothing all day.
I don't see any way of bringing this up to her that wouldn't just completely crush her confidence. She's picked up on hints in the past that I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be. But I felt like a deer in the headlights and lied. I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't get turned on by her physical appearance or even want to look at her body when she's getting changed. I've been trying to encourage healthy habits, but she doesn't want them. I love this woman with all of my heart, but at this point, I'm really not sure what to do other than crush her confidence or suck it up and be unhappy with my sex life.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.