I (F27) and my wife (F37) have been married just under two weeks, together for nearly 9 years with two children. Over the last six months or so she has made a new friend in work, who is also a lesbian, and has spent more time going out with her to see a film, get a drink/coffee or food etc. as the friendship has progressed. I did feel wary of the friendship immediately based on the fact that her friend is also gay, so is technically a “romantic option” for her (I’ve never had any worries about any of her straight or male friends whom she sees frequently). I also explained to my wife that, based on past experiences with other gay women, they tend to make a pass at her regardless of our relationship, giving me more reason to be wary of this new friendship.
Her new friend, who was also in a F/F relationship, just broke up with her girlfriend two days ago, as there was “something missing” and her girlfriend was apparently being quite paranoid and controlling about this new friendship. My wife said she will be there for her to support her through the break up, which I said is fine. What has flagged for me is that, after going to a dog show this afternoon, her friend then proposed that they get the train back to her house and my wife stay the night after a few drinks. My wife declined, telling her that it “wouldn’t go down well with (myself)”, correctly it wouldn’t as we’ve hardly spent any time together since the wedding.
Am I in the right for feeling this proposition is inappropriate from her friend? I think given that she has just broken up with her girlfriend, it is ringing far more alarm bells for me than it usually would.
I am admittedly struggling with feelings of jealousy of this new friendship, especially as they seem to have clicked so well together and enjoy spending time together. I’m trying my best to work through my own feelings and worries but it’s difficult to suppress. My wife seems to be more and more frequently planning activities and meet ups with her, as well as small weekend trips/holidays while I stay home with our children.