I received a random text message from a person telling me to check my husband’s work phone because he thought his wife and my husband were having an affair. I am 42 and asked my husband to show me his work phone. When he handed it over his hands were shaking. I thought the messages were flirty but he denies that she flirts with him or vice versa. The messages are old and he denied any affair. For context her messages are grey and his are blue. He said his hands were shaking because I have never asked to see his phone. I honestly don’t know what to do. Are they flirty?
26 comments
Not flirty
No. Not even a little. Completely appropriate
No, this is so pleasantly boring, I love it
Nothing about this reads as flirty, unless I am missing something major. I have had plenty of similar conversations with both male and female colleagues.
I don’t think so. I don’t see anything wrong with the messages.
>I thought the messages were flirty
There is nothing whatsoever flirty about these messages, and I seriously question your judgement if you think they are.
If he was having an affair he likely already deleted any evidence. Check the deleted messages. He could also be using hidden apps for the affair
My hands would be shaking too
Out of anger
No, this is how I would text most of my coworkers, maybe with fewer emojis but I don’t think this is flirting at all. I don’t really know how much more professional your husband could be.
Also my hands would also be shaking if someone was accusing me of having an affair, even if I was completely innocent! I don’t think you have anything go worry about, at least not if this is the only evidence.
Not in the slightest would I perceive this as flirting. I would however be checking WhatsApp and other messaging apps as you’ve had a warning from a this woman’s husband.
Might be worth asking the other husband why he thinks his wife is having an affair with your husband.
But back to the evidence you have here, this is most definitely not evidence of flirting.
Are you serious? Not even a little bit. This sounds strictly like business. Nothing inappropriate whatsoever
I’m married and these are like the IM conversations I have with my female colleagues or female boss. Very boring. A couple of emojis but that’s about it. This is standard and I don’t see any red flags at all here.
Who is the person who is trying to sabotage your marriage? That’s what I want to know. That or there’s another conversation that he isn’t showing you somewhere, if the person who contacted you is correct. But this series of messages that you showed is a nothing burger.
Maybe divorce him just to be sure /s
Where were they flirty?
If you see these as flirty you have issues. There is genuinely nothing in these texts that is at all flirtatious.
You owe your husband a huge apology.
Nope. And regardless of his hands shaking, it sounds like he didn’t resist giving you his phone. I think it’s innocent.
Looks like she is, he seems to be keeping it professional, he’s hardly responding to inquiries about coffee, everything he states is work related.
Not at all flirty – Jesus
They’re barely even friendly with each other. You’re completely out of line here.
Not even a little bit flirting. Your husband was probably shaking because of the accusatory nature of the situation. I think that would be quite natural.
This is the most platonic coworkers text thread I have ever seen.
So you get a text from a number you’ve never texted with before, they claim your husband is cheating with their wife, and you just believe them? Who even is this person? How did they get YOUR number? How do you know that text was even meant for you or if this person was trying to contact someone else and just got the numbers wrong?
There is just so much more information needed here.
When you say “the messages are old” do you mean that the last message was from a while ago? If so, that’s a yellow flag and I’d ask the coworker’s husband for the date of their last communication. The messages are fine aside from that.
Her emoji choice is a little inappropriate at times for a work convo (I think) but he dodged it all with grace. I wouldn’t be worried at all about your husband. Maybe her husband should be a little concerned bc I felt like she was trying to flirt but it was completely one sided.
Guys, guys, guys I don’t think op would’ve thought these were flirtatious on her own. Someone gave her a warning. This was from months ago. They haven’t talked since then 🤨. And maybe he doesn’t text flirty on his work phone and she does? Like maybe he’s on his personal. Or he deleted them? The best thing for op to do is ask the husband what makes him think this. Ask for specifics. How old the texts were and what number they were to. Could be nothing, but it’s not as simple as “are these texts flirty.” If you’ve been cheated on— you know. Not fair to badger the husband any further without more info unless to explain the situation.
Nothing about this is flirty, BUT the messages are from 2024. If this is someone he currently works with, and her husband messaged you, that means he’s deleting messages. Ask the husband for proof and tell him you only see messages from 2024. He will tell you what he saw. Your husbands hands were shaking for a reason. Trust your gut