42F here. Several first dates. Two second dates. Two third dates. But it seems like every guy I’ve gone on a date with trauma dumps on me and it gets overwhelming. I show up to these dates as my 100% authentic self – and men often tell me they feel safe/comfortable talking to me. If I had to guess I’m kind, sympathetic, and I ask questions. I tend to ask pretty probing questions too… (it’s my career to ask probing questions and seems to flow over into my love life).
A little story – I had two dates with a guy within the last couple of weeks. After the second date (which, the two dates were within 4 days of each other), he told me he’s a 45 year old virgin, and why his soon to be ex wife never wanted to have sex, etc. I told him I’m fine w that – doesn’t bother me. He then told me his fetish (smoking….). I told him I was starting to get overwhelmed with all this really personal info, tho I didn’t blame him for any of these facts, and he kind of threw a fit and was like “yeah let’s cancel the third date and take some space.” Ok…??
Has anyone else ever dealt with too soon trauma dumping? Did you figure out why this happens and how to fix it?