35M. Started a lifestyle change back in June. I was at the heaviest I have ever been at 230 pounds and did not feel good about myself at all. I’m kinda short at 5’8” so 230 pounds on me is a lot… It was like all my bad lifestyle choices caught up to me.
I have never, ever been fit. Nobody in my family played sports or went to the gym growing up so working out always seemed like a foreign concept to me. I have always been extremely intimidated by the gym so I never went. In my 20s though I lived in San Francisco and I walked everywhere so I was actually able to stay kinda slim. But I’m no longer in my 20s, and don’t live in SF anymore, and work a desk job in finances. The weight has piled on since then.
It’s always been my dream to be fit though and have the confidence to do things such as go to a beach or a pool and not be scared to take off my shirt. I’m also terrified I’ll be one of those men that has a heart attack or a stroke really young. At 35, it hit me that could be a possibility if I don’t get myself in check. Plus I don’t have kids yet so I figured, I may as well try since I don’t have that major overwhelming responsibility yet.
So in late June I decided to make a change. Been pretty serious about things since then. Faithfully working out at least 4x a week every week since then. Getting 10k steps a day in. Lifting weights, going on runs, HITT workouts, etc. 95% of my meals were cooked from home too and very protein and veggie based.
Managed to knock off like 30ish pounds so far and I’ve gotten a ton of compliments from people. Gone down a size in clothes. And I feel way better about myself. I feel healthier and stronger and faster, and I can see noticeable progress when I look at myself in the mirror. It’s been really exciting.
But there’s more weight I need to lose. I’m maybe only halfway to my goal weight (I wanna lose like 30 more) before I get to a point where I need to maintain. I’m also trying to build muscle so that’s also another factor and make the goal weight flexible.
But this week I fell into a complete funk and reverted back to my old ways.
Got sick last weekend and couldn’t get out of bed. So, no working out. Then, when I came back to work after being ill, I had a mountain of work waiting for me and it was stressful as hell. Completely made me burn out and feel so unmotivated and exhausted.
Haven’t worked out since last Saturday (Sunday/Monday is when I was sick). Have eaten out twice this week (and not healthy… got burgers and fries) and ate so much Halloween candy this week. I don’t feel good about it at all.
I’m going to try to get myself back on track this weekend. I’m totally beating myself up though for fucking up this week and going back to my old ways.
I’m actually terrified to get back on the scale… I don’t even want to see the number. I was so excited a week ago to finally see the number on the scale hit 198 (finally under 200!!)… but now I’m sure it’s gone back up. I’m so pissed off and frustrated with myself… mad at the universe for giving me a week of setbacks, and also very annoyed with myself for the way I reacted to it and coped with it.
Did I ruin my progress? Am I being too hard on myself? Sorry if I sound like I’m whining. I just… yeah. Idk. Could use some advice and maybe encouragement. Thank you for listening to me vent.