My boyfriend lives off my brain. If I don’t initiate something, it doesn’t happen. If I don’t remind him, he doesn’t do most things. Even for tasks we do together, he asks for advice at every single step. I even have to remind him to eat.
Sometimes I wonder — if a man can’t take care of himself, how will he ever take care of me someday when we have kids or when I need support? He’s a sweet guy, respectful, and genuinely loves me, but I feel more like his mother than his partner.
He apologizes for being like this and says he’s trying to improve. His life skills are really low, and it’s been three years together (living together for two). I’ve been waiting for growth, but progress is so slow. Before, he never used to clean or cook — now he does, but maybe once a week, and even then it’s half-done. Whenever I bring something up, he points to that one effort and says I don’t see how he’s trying.
His organizing skills are basically zero. If I weren’t home for a month, I’m sure he wouldn’t clean at all. He’s also very antisocial — even with people he’s met ten times before, he still hesitates to talk or meet them. It makes living together hard, and I often wish he’d go out and have fun with me.
Even when it’s just the two of us, he’s hesitant to do most things. I’m always the one initiating plans he’ll never say no, but he never organizes anything himself. He’ll order in sometimes but never plans a date.
I really want to give this relationship a fair chance, but I’m exhausted. I don’t want to ask him directly because he might take it negatively, but I’m confused about whether it’s worth staying. I love him, but I don’t know if love alone is enough.
TL;DR: My (22F) boyfriend (25M) relies on me for almost everything — reminders, planning, cleaning, social life, even eating. He’s loving but dependent, and I feel like the caretaker.