I’m a 37 year old woman who has been with my partner 40 for 3 years.
We dated as teenagers, lost our virginity to each other at 16/18 and I moved away for uni a year later. We lost touch, and didn’t see each other for 17 years apart from a brief glimpse of each other at a mutuals friends wedding.
6 years ago he messaged me asking me out on a date but I declined, as my father was terminally ill. Fast forward 3 years, and he messaged me asking for a date which I agreed to.
From day one, we clicked like we did when we were teenagers, spend all our time together, went on several holidays and fell madly in love.
He told me early on that he loves me and that he will never let me slip through his fingers again. He told me that I was on his mind for all those years we were apart etc. he would ring text me every day and make plans. Always wanted to be with me.
Now the change.
For the past few months, we no longer go on dates. He no longer makes foward plans with me, he no longer invites me to weddings with him, we do nothing together as a couple anymore. My anxiety regarding this has been through the roof, and I may have went overboard with ringing and texting etc as our connection and closeness was being lost due to his decline in communication.
I always feel like a last priority and that his fiends/darts/football come first and that I’m “slotted in”. This was not the case the first 2.6 years.
I became upset and quite angry about this as I had mentioned it several times.
I told him (truthfully) that I get chatted up a lot, and that sometimes I feel I would be better talking to a man that is willing to give me the attention and affection I’m craving.
When I pushed him on the subject, he says that he doesn’t know if he wants to commit, and when I said ok. He said he’s afraid of loosing me as I’m a good woman.
I have cried so much watching the man who adored me, but me so low on his pecking order that I might as well be an aquintence he met at a bus stop.
He came over briefly last night and told me that he still loves me etc.
I love this man, and I don’t want to start over again at my age. However, I deserve to be priority in my partners life and to feel reassured and respected.
I’m planning on going no contact for the next couple of weeks to give each other space and for him to figure out what it is he wants.
Any advise is much needed
Thanks