Hello Reddit,
I am in an extremely difficult situation and would appreciate an external perspective. My girlfriend (F, 20) and I (M, 20) had a huge blow-up, followed by her complete withdrawal from communication.
The core issue is deeper than the argument itself. We recently moved together to a new city (București), leaving our hometown. When we were back home, she was much more engaged and proactive in the relationship. Since the move, I feel like I'm the only one consistently fighting for the relationship. When I try to address issues, she simply says she's "too tired to fight" anymore, and now only hopes that things will magically return to normal without any effort from her side. This suggests a deep, general exhaustion that is likely related to the stress of our new life stage, but it places all the burden on me.
The situation exploded yesterday after she found out I had been watching pornography. She cried intensely, stating she viewed my action as an emotional betrayal (equating it to cheating), feeling insufficient, compared to other women, and completely "shut out" or "left cold." While I saw it as a private matter, it clearly inflicted a major emotional wound on her.
Since the argument, she has refused direct communication. I know she has her phone because she's active on TikTok, reposting videos. This complete avoidance makes me feel deliberately ignored and strengthens my belief that her decision to pull back, citing "tiredness" and passive "hoping," is final.
I sent her one final, calm message, validating her feelings of exhaustion but insisting we need a mature discussion to clarify the future, and that I would give her space until she’s ready. I have received no reply.
I feel lost and deeply hurt. I value direct, rational communication, and this total blockage, combined with her public social media activity, makes me feel like I’m already history.
Any advice or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
TL;DR: My girlfriend withdrew from the relationship (said she was "tired of fighting"). The move to a new city shifted all the effort onto me. She now says she just hopes things return to normal. The breaking point was an intense emotional crisis over me watching porn (which she considers cheating). She is ignoring me but active on TikTok. Is this passive hope a death sentence for the relationship? What is my best next step while giving her space?