To comfort ourselves we sometimes say that if they wanted to reach out they would, if the cared they'd show up and all of that, but what if they are doubting and having self doubt as you do. What if there are aslo scared of being rejected. What if the fear you have are the same. Sometimes I think talking stages or situationships fails not because of the lack of feelings but the lack and the fear of being vulnerable to soon from both side. Sometimes both parties are scared of making the first step, and the relationship ends before it's even got the chance to begin
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In reality, if he or she really wanted to, meaning, they’re highly motivated, meanign, they very attracted….
They most likely wouldn’t.
Unless we’re talking about a detached, reduced and thus much less ‘risky’ approach such as dating apps, where you can ‘approach’ ppl without needing balls, without exposing yourself to face to face interactions and in your face rejections.
In any other scenario, the more attracted someone is, the less likely it is they will make a move. Which runs completely counter to the so pervasive idea, that the more attracted and thus motivated someone is, the higher the chance and probability they will move.
Only ppl propogate that myth that do not understand ppl’s or men’s nature at all.
They stupid, or naive, or, very very young.
The Nr. 1 objective e.g. of men isn’t woman, it isn’t sex, it isn’t a harem, it isn’t a gf or many women or romance or any of that.
Nr. 1 main and overriding priority for 90+ % of men is…
To avoid bad risks whenever and whereever possible. That is the biggest reason why so many men prefer dating apps, even though it is proven that dating apps do not work well or at all for a large cohort of men. They cannot get dates let alone sex or a gf that way.
So, why do so many vast armies of men still use dating apps primarily?
it ain’t success, it aint a good probability to get sex or a gf.
So, what is it that draws such vast number of men to dating apps?
As I said, dating apps cannot give many men women effective or easily, however what dating apps do is they give men the option to meet their actual Nr. 1 priority:
Avoiding direct rejection, humilation, getting mocked, getting laughed, getting rejected badly and into their faces for the world to see. Guys hate even just the remote risk of that with a vengeance. They would rather stay alone forever than to risk that. At least, many guys simply do not want any of that.
And, the risks grow exponentially, the more attracted a guy is, becuase then the rejection hurts exponentially more. Thus, especially those women men are very into will also expose them to a prorportinal risk of a bad rejection. Even just a kind rejection that stings badly cause he really liked her, and has beeen liking her for ages.
So, the real phrase goes like this and at least for a slight or even considerable majority of men:
Outside of dating apps/social media, the more a man is attracted, the more he desires a woman, the more unlikely it becomes he would ever try. Because, the perceived risks are too great.
Now, that’s a scenario of making an initial move.
If you are already in contact with a man or woman, you show interest, you show you like them etc…..and they dont respond much, ghost etc?
Then, yes, if he or she wanted to in a scenario where there is already contact, you arleady showed you like them….then yes, if they were into you, they would respond and show you they want you. If they dont show that and give that even though you offer it and you already know each other….then they are not attractted enough or not available. If you konw someone, showed interest and they are vague, tell you they are too busy, they cancel more than one date, they take hours to respond more than once or very rarely….
Then they are not attracted enough or not available or both.