Hi, I am 22F and my boyfriend is 26M. We have been together for around 1 year.
Recently I have been struggling with the realization that long-term friendships do not always mean deep or supportive friendships. I have two friends I have known for 15 years, but one has drifted away and the other often makes comments that feel unsupportive or negative. I also never really felt able to open up about personal struggles with them, which made me feel like maybe we never had that deeper emotional bond.
I shared this with my boyfriend and explained that I do not feel like I have a “best friend” type of connection with anyone. He then suggested that I should go make friends. I told him I was not looking for advice and that making meaningful friendships is not that simple for me. I just wanted to express what I was feeling.
I also mentioned that people who have friends they can openly be vulnerable with are lucky. His response was, “Yeah, all my friends are like that.” Hearing that in that moment made me feel more alone, even if he did not intend to hurt me. I went quiet because I did not want to turn it into an argument.
I feel misunderstood and unsupported but I also understand he may have been trying to help in his own way. I do not want to attack him or make it seem like he did something unforgivable. I just want to address this properly.
My question is:
How can I bring this up to him in a calm and constructive way, so he understands that sometimes I just need emotional support and not solutions? And how do I communicate that his response made me feel isolated without making him defensive?
TL;DR: I (22F) told my boyfriend (26M) that I feel like I do not have deep friendships and that it hurts. He responded by telling me to go make friends and said all of his friends are supportive. It made me feel judged and alone. Looking for advice on how to communicate this to him constructively.