TL;DR: I know I’m not my boyfriend’s type, and his repeated comments make me question how to handle my feelings. I want to save the relationship, but breaking up feels like it might be the only option — what should I do?
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. I’ve been struggling with something for a while and I’m not sure how to handle it.
He is loving, caring, and puts real effort into our relationship. In many ways, things are great between us. But there’s one thing that’s been slowly eating away at me — I know I’m not his type.
He’s told me before what kind of girls he usually finds attractive, and I’m basically the opposite. Over time, he’s made small comments like, “you should dye your hair darker,” or saying he doesn’t really like light eyes (mine are blue), or that curly hair is the most beautiful (mine is straight), or that he likes tall girls. It happens often enough that I’ve started to feel like I’m not fully accepted for who I am. At the same time, he does give me plenty of compliments.
I know I’m beautiful and I’m generally not insecure, but these comments still hurt and make me question myself in ways I haven’t experienced before. Sometimes I even feel like he might be trying to make me insecure with certain remarks, but that completely contradicts how caring and loving he is in other ways. Aside from this one issue, our relationship is almost perfect — which is exactly why it hurts so much.
When we’re intimate, it sometimes takes a while or doesn’t really work out, and even though I know that can happen for many reasons, I can’t help but wonder if maybe he’s just not that attracted to me.
I’ve kept this to myself for a long time because I didn’t want to make it a bigger issue. But it’s been bothering me more and more. I’m starting to wonder if I should talk to him about how this affects me, or if it’s something I just can’t get past.
So… what should I do? Should I try to work through these feelings with him, or does this mean it’s time to end the relationship?