I’m really struggling here a bit and need advice. For the first time in my life I (F28) and putting an active emphasis on dating. Growing up I never got much attention, something along the lines of simultaneously living in two very different places at once, tolerated in both, accepted in neither. The result being I missed all the early learning and experiences related to romance that typically occurred in the teenage years. Now I’m trying to play catch up and feel like I jumped off the deep end without swimming lessons
Sort of that self fulfilling prophecy of you need experience to get a job, you need a job to get experience. You need experience with love to pick up on the cues, and you need to pick up on cues to get experience
I have neither so I cannot the other. And I feel like it’s holding me back because I don’t understand the rules or how to play the game. I miss things that should be obvious, I don’t know how to actively take charge, I don’t know how any of this is supposed to go! It’s all over my head and I feel so lost and frustrated because I am actively pursing this for the first time in my life and it feels like I decided to ship myself to a foreign country with a pocket book of common phrases and no other knowledge of the language or culture
I don’t know if I’m venting or seeking advice, probably a bit of both. The “greatest“ advice I get from people in my real life is I just need more practice and experience! But see the part where you need some preexisting level of experience to gain more? Or the flippant “oh your so beautiful and funny and great, I don’t know how you’ve gotten this far without having a boyfriend, but don’t worry, I’m sure it’s just around the corner, keep trying“. So yah, just struggling hard out here