Hi, I’m 23F. My relationship ended a few months ago and I’ve started dating again. However I’ve had connections that felt like they fizzled out because the guy in question didn’t respond and I never followed up. I’ve been thinking since yesterday if maybe I should’ve followed up with these people. I fear coming across as desperate, especially since my goal for dating is casual connections and intimacy, not commitment.
One of the guys, I met a party and the chemistry was off the charts. We continued texting the morning after but after a few exchanges, he didn’t respond. That was so unexpected because everything seemed to be going great, but I didn’t want to come off as desperate, so I didn’t send a second text. It’s been 4 months now.
Another guy, I met on Hinge. The date was great, he was touchy, but not in a weird uncomfortable way. He held and rubbed my hands or thighs while we were grabbing drinks and even during the movie after. After the movie, we went back to his place where we had sex and cuddled, and I spent the night. When I was leaving in the morning, he said bye and that he had a great night, but he didn’t text after. Not even to ask if I got home safe, which is basic courtesy, in my opinion. I didn’t want to text either because I took that as “I don’t want to see you again”. FWIW, I initiated our date while we were just texting on Hinge, so I felt like the ball was in his court that time around.
Should I have texted in either or both instances? And most importantly, as a guy, would you appreciate the second text, or would you consider that as desperate?
I just want to put out a disclaimer that I’m not hung up on these guys. I know exactly what I’m looking for—casual intimacy. It’s just hard getting to that point because I can’t be intimate with people unless I’m attracted to them, and of all the guys (more than a dozen) I’ve gone on dates with in the past few months, they were mostly good-looking guys, especially according to today’s “standards”, but I just wasn’t attracted to most of them to the extent of wanting to be intimate.
Sorry if this is TMI, and I know not every guy is the same, but I’d like a general consensus