We’ve been in each others lives since January. I felt like things never got serious because I had some reservations about whether or not he was ready for the kind of commitment needed to sustain a long-term relationship. It seemed like he had some conflict avoidance and was still partying. This has left us in situationship limbo for a bit.
I felt like he had been really consistent and patient with me so we ended up taking things more seriously starting probably in July/August. He ended up moving a few states over and we really missed each other so we booked flights to see one another.
Two weeks before I came I brought up exclusivity from a very non-judgmental standpoint. Basically just said hey I get it’s been a little up in the air but I don’t want to not use condoms unless I’m confident we’re being safe because my last partner cheated on me and I ended up getting an STD. And he said “yea i get that, and definitely on the same page with you, and honestly thanks again for being very open about telling me that, because id do the same and would never want to pass something on to you”
I went out there, we had the most incredible weekend of my life. We made it official before I came home and it’s been one of the happiest and healthiest relationships I’ve been in. Like genuinely healing parts of me that I thought would be broken forever.
Well flash forward, now he told me he flew another girl out there right around the same time we had the conversation about STDs and they slept together and he never got tested.
He’s been very apologetic, taking responsibility, all the things. But I don’t know how to begin to even process anything. I told him I fully had the capacity to move past him hooking up with other people up until the day my plane landed. Lord knows I wasn’t being perfect (as in going on dates and I kissed someone) but never to this extent. But I don’t know if I know how to begin to move past the hurt that comes with the lying. How could I ever feel safe in sex again with him after something like this? Is that dramatic?
When I was there at one point I even broke down crying and told him that he was very special to me and I never wanted to be a bad thing in his life. I’ve protected him so fiercely and I feel so hurt and betrayed by this.
I was at urgent care at 6:30 this morning getting tested, called out of work, and have been an emotional wreck.
I don’t know what to do next.