I (M18) have been dating my girlfriend long distance (F19) for 5 months now. We have known each other for 6 months. She is coming in-person to see me for Halloween.
Recently, an event happened that hurt my trust. I had set a hard boundary about not speaking to any ex's. Then, one day, she screenshared her phone calls from a month ago and I had found out that she had *67 called her ex (his number was not saved, I had to reverse search it because I asked who it was and she promptly stopped screensharing.) I questioned her about it and at first she had said that it was probably because she got prank called. Then she said it was her ex's friend. Then she said she called them back to tell them to stop prank calling them. I then hung up and thought for a couple of hours if this could be repaired, and decided to tell her that I wanted to break up with her. She said that she wanted to see me for Halloween and talk in-person, but this being a couple of days ago, I stood firm and said I did not want to see her in-person. She then sort of exploded on me and started calling me an asshole and saying things around the line of "I do all this for you but you can't just see me in person" etc. She had even threatened to show up to my apt building and I told her that I would call the cops. But, eventually, she had calmed down. After she had calmed down, many hours later, she asked me if I wanted to know the truth. She then told me that she had called her ex because she had seen a girl on tea app talking about her and wanted to call him to ask about it. I told her she should've told me earlier, and then a little while later, she completely broke down and started talking about how she hates herself and how she always messes everything up.
She has had a lot of past trauma, and to be honest, I felt really bad and said that I was willing to give it one more go, but I don't know if I truly can. On top of knowing that she sat there and lied to my face about the reason for hours, there have also been past events with her at a club / bar where I find out she gave her instagram to other men, or even on a beach one time where she gave her instagram to a guy hitting on her and then said that it was her friends who gave all their instagrams to him, but none of her friends were followed by him. She has also lied about being at a guy's house before but her story made a lot of sense back then and I do 100% believe her for it. Other than that, the other thing that makes me feel slightly off about her is that she constantly hates on men as a whole, talking about how it's not sexist if it is to men, and also mentioning how all men are immature. She was telling me to my face about how she is far more mature than me the other day.
I want to give her another chance, and I think it is for a couple of reasons: 1) I do truly feel bad. I get scared that she is gonna be a miserable sad person if I leave her, and I care about her and I do not want that to happen 2) I genuinely still love her. I love the person she is, her mannerisms, how adorable she is, and all of the above. So it hurts me to think of breaking up with her. It feels like I'll be lonely and I miss her. 3) I am afraid of missing the people I have met through her. The kids she babysits feel like cousins to me, her brother even feels like a true friend to me, it makes me said thinking about that leaving. 4) It's been doing a bit better since then.
The only thing is I just can't trust her. I keep thinking about how she lied to me, and I constantly wonder if everything she has told me has been a lie. Still, she has offered to do many things for me including stopping going to clubs / bars as a whole (which she didn't do very often in the first place) and much more. I just don't know what to do. This is my first relationship, so I was wondering if anybody has been in a similar scenario or can offer any advice.
TL;DR: I (M18) have dated my girlfriend (F19) for 5 months, she broke my trust by calling her ex to clarify something about the tea app but she lied about why for hours, and has lied in the past. Wondering what I should do, should I continue the relationship or break it off?