Reposting as I didn’t include how long we had been in a relationship.
Help me out reddit.
We’re – M (42) and F (34) a low income household and I’m the sole earner. We’ve been together for 10.5 years, married 1.5 years.
I only work a few days a week as I’m recovering from cancer, and we’re very lucky to be able to live off this income as we have family support. All our expenses are covered plus a little left over.
My husband is working on building us a house, so while he doesn’t have an income, he does work very hard. The budget we have for this is separate.
As part of this income, we agreed to allocate $25 each per week as an ‘allowance’ that we can each privately spend on whatever we wish, no questions asked.
I tend to spend mine (not every week, sometimes I save up), my husband does not and will hardly spend money on anything, to the point where I have to buy him t-shirts and underwear because all his clothes have holes in them.
I spend it on books, clothes, video games – frivolous things that bring me joy but which we do not NEED. I never spend more than what I have.
Here’s the crux of our issue: every time I buy something my husband gets upset. He asks how much it cost. Looks shocked, and proceeds to sulk for the rest of the day. Instead of being excited about my beautiful new dress, I feel really kind of sad. And I try to not let his reaction affect how I feel, because fuck what he thinks, it’s my money and I survived cancer, but also, he’s my favourite person and I want him to be excited for me.
I know I need to talk to him, but we just can’t see eye to eye on this. I like to treat myself, he lives as though we are barely keeping a roof over our heads (we’re really not).
What’s a girl to do?
TLDR: My husband gets upset when I spend money even though we have an equal allowance allocated from our income.