So, I (F26) just got out of a situationship with M28)that lasted about 8–9 months. It started like a fairytale — this man was so good in the beginning. Caring, cute, clingy in the right way, calling me all the time, saying all the right things. Basically, he had me thinking I was the main character in a rom-com.
As time went on, his energy started doing the disappearing act — poof. One day he’s obsessed with me, next day he’s as emotionally available as a rock. But since I moved near his place for work, we started meeting often again. Going on dates and hanging out every weekend! And every time we met, he was back to being the perfect boyfriend material. When we were together, it felt magical. When we were apart, I swear I was dating a ghost.
And here’s where it gets worse — he was on hinge. I am not even mad cuz we were not in a committed relationship,but atleast be transparent! I was out here giving honestly like he is my soul mate. The man was out there seeing other people behind my back while telling me we should be “exclusive.”
Anyway, every time I tried to leave, he pulled the “I really like you, I want you,I can’t lose you” card and convinced me to stay. Meanwhile, he was just breadcrumbing me — giving me just enough attention to keep me hanging. Literally textbook emotional confusion.
Finally, I woke up and chose peace over panic. Told him we shouldn’t talk for a while and blocked him everywhere. It’s been a week, and yes, I miss him sometimes (because my brain apparently likes pain), but I’m doing my best to move on.
He’s not a terrible person, but he’s one of those “amazing when present, emotionally absent when away” types. Basically, great in person, but his long-distance personality had no Wi-Fi connection.
I’m now in my healing era — resisting the urge to text him, drinking water, minding my skincare, studying for the important exam of my life, and reminding myself: love bombing isn’t love, and mixed signals are not affection.
If anyone has tips on how to detach completely (and maybe delete the man from my mental hard drive), drop them below. I’m ready to upgrade my emotional software. 💁♀️✨