Hi,
so I just moved to a new city on my own and started university a few weeks ago. I was very excited to meet new people, since I haven’t really had a stable friend group since highschool, and no close friends at all. But now I’m already in my fourth week here and so far no new friends… I’ve been trying really hard to get to know people, but somehow they all formed groups already and I just haven’t really found a group where I feel comfortable.
Whenever I meet new people, I feel like I can’t just have a normal conversation with them, instead I’m overanalyzing everything. Like, as soon as I start a conversation, I’m already analyzing if the person could be a potential friend or not, which is stupid, because I know friendships need time to build up. I think maybe I’m judging people too early, but how do I stop that? Also, I think I might be neurodivergent (ADHD or autism, I will have to get it checked), and conversations just feel very unnatural to me. I’m very quiet in a big group of people and I never know what‘s the right thing to say and when to add something to the conversation. People mostly talk about very general stuff, and I get that that is how a friendship starts and you just have to get through that phase, but I literally cannot do it, like I’m sooo uninterested in that stuff. And also I feel like my humour is like totally different from everyone elses :/
Whenever I’m in a good position to make new friends, I completely stress out and I always feel like it will be my last chance at making friends, and I have to use it. That way it’s harder for me to actually focus on the conversation and to be myself… I feel like I’m just too aware of everything maybe??
There will still be some opportunities to meet new people in the following weeks, so I’m trying not to lose hope…
Does anyone have tips on how to relax and just ”go with the flow“ while making friends? And how do I stop overanalyzing everything and making it so complicated in my head?